Friday, December 25, 2009
XMas & The Element of Freedom
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Start Again 一个新的开始
雪白眼泪掉了
该出现的所有表情 瞬间掉了
瞳孔没有颜色 结了冰的长河
回忆是最可怕的敌人
故事情节掉了
主角对白掉了
该属于剧中的对角戏 也掉了
胸口没有快乐断了翅的白鸽
不枯萎的藉口全 掉了 "
悲哀的时期...已经过去
因为你-我再次微笑
你-不仅给了我勇气
你-提醒我自己
是一个更好的人
明天又是一个新的开始
我会回来
我向你保证
一个幸福的日子
如果没有幸福,那么我们共同在这条道路上成长 ^^
直到我们找到幸福
Record Reports 01
Reading some of the music or movie reviews makes me wanna do some for my own too haha...
Michael Bublé ~ Crazy Love
Friday, November 20, 2009
An End
Monday, November 16, 2009
Rush
Friday, November 13, 2009
T.T
I wasted my chance to go KL today... T.T
May be the last time we went out as a class...
ARRRGHHHH!!!
________________________________
Yesterday my friends and I went out to watch 2012 from 9.40pm till 12.20am haha..then we went out for some mamak till 2 am something..
I've never been that late to go home myself before haha.. Anyway I enjoy ytd thanks guys...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
20 Years of Changes
1989...
A significant year for communism around the world...
In Beijing, June 4th, hundreds or thousands of protestors, peaceful ones and are mostly young university students were killed by armed military forces...
Communism in China never fade its influence even after the incident but nurtures into a powerful force itself...
But in Berlin, capital of Germany or simply the whole Germany and continent Europe itself; celebrates the fall of Communism.
I dunno what's so attractive about this event is to me...
Maybe I kinda like relate it to China, the hometown for all Chi... I was thinking what might happened there if Communism vapourised like what will hapen in Soviet...
For me, it symbolises Freedom. Detachment from an unruly system. Emancipation. Rights. Anything apart from communism.
I really detest communism. So called je sama rata or equal rights. Bullshit!
The people would work as labour while the officials would be laying in their office, convincing the people that labour is something to be proud of... Covering the press cuz its too negative for the people to know like as though they are babies who needed to be told what to do... Whatever there are tonnes of stories that make me sick! Fking sick!
Enough of my whining haha...
All I wanna say is I hope for Germany and any other nations which faced losses and grief and sufferings before with a better future with the change of politics.
:) Nevertheless the history have to be put down and recovery must be made...
For the world...
This Is It (?)
Pengajian Am : 45
Chemistry : 30
Maths : 24
Physics : 42
Thats my results haha... Well the CGPA is 1.42
The probability of me dropping class (for the first time of my life) = 0.75, a fat chance...
So is this the end? end...? end...? end...?
Of course no... Anyway hey M, thank you for your encouragements today it really helps me...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Come & Go
Exam = Over!!!!
But still, in Form 6, there won't be any time for relaxation...
Straightly after school that Friday, I walked myself to Popular to buy a Math exercise book and some materials. Irony rite? Near exam's end then only had I started to revise blah blah...
Today went back to school and got my Chemistry paper at the first period. I know I won't do well this time but I didn't expect it to FAIL! Which I'm 100% sure that it will happen to my Maths paper too..
Haha so I'm like WTFH! Nevermind... I'm not really attached to results but still it almost spoil my whole mood for that day =p
Cuz I'm just too overconfident that I'm good in it so I emphasised more on Physics than Chem. But one fact I know for sure that I won't pass in Phy as well XD
Well shit the exam lah... I got much more things to focus here...
_____________________________________________
Frustration set aside.
My friends and I are gonna have a (rather silly) F6 camp this Saturday but the factor that makes this camp exciting (not silly) is that we gotta create some performance(s).
And Imma helping one of my friend **suspence to all GBSes who got no idea yet, this gonna be one big surprise XD**
to do a performance for the opening act. And it's a pop-dance song, very uptempo and popular one... And we are figuring how to blend in to that song, copycat its dance on it and to move with its vibe & the costume XDXD & the stage's effect.
I ain't spilling no more here haha u gotta see it. If the opening all went well it will be one of GBS's most memorable moment after Koku Day Michael Jackson danceoff.
So...hope that it will all went well.. *o*
__________________________________________________
I'll let yall know how's my result in the next post ba... Haha just to see how miserable one shit could be.
Bye
Monday, October 19, 2009
Reform
18 : Freedom to consume alcohol & cigars @ pubs =p
No more juvy records if I'd broken a law, I'm considered a young adult now.. :(
But the most important thing is to burn some bridges and to build new ones
That's the important, painful part.
No more virtual fantasies, just vivid realities.
I will have to build my own path. No helps (perhaps some =p). No obstructions should inflate me.
Time to find my true soul.
No more dramas, tired of them, not as fun as we've watched on TV.
It's all about the grey future.
Picking up the past tenses and find its clues, or if could, repair them.
Wondering whether I should be a realist or a hopeful? Hmm.. that is yet to be decided..
THIS IS IT
Finally, a time to fully grow up.
Goodbye to childhood and teenagehood. They shall turn into bitter dust and dirt now.
Hello to future. Dark or light. I shall lay the road.
Release the fishes in the aquarium. Let them be free, and lead me.
Look at the doves. Listen to their songs.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Bitter Heart: " Change "
But- I just wanna YEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL...!!!!
K, I ain't denying the fact that I didn't done anything at all to catch up... I did revised- but it is not sufficient for a Form 6 syllabus...
Alright I'll stop here so I can get back to those boring turd books. One thing for sure is that I ain't gonna take any course concerning science stream for my tertiary study in the future... Man, science is just really reeeaally not my stuff. Now I understand why those who take science career usually be regarede as nerd/geeks cuz these things are just so damn boring; I personally don't understand why people would find calculating how much force exerts on a falling/levelating object interesting @ how some salt/base/acid react by observing stupid colour changes etc things I dunno what I'm talking now and blah blah blah...
You can see why only people who took arts stream can become politicians or artists dll which for me is a much more interesting subject...
Haiz...I dunno...
Change is needed for me and reform must be implemented...
Friday, October 2, 2009
Anti-T*rtl*!
-" Sir, I was ju..."
" (higher nasal) What is more important you tell me."
(and I'm trying to catch what he said there before he exploded with that cb style voice)
(try pinch your nose and repeat this sentense and you'll know why it is so damn irritating)
" Which one more important? Lining up or your stupid colloquium? And where is your necktie? What form are you? Lower Six isit? Why didn't you wear your necktie? "
" My necktie with my friend now I.. "
"I DON'T CARE! YOU SHOULD __________ AND _________..."
and there Master Wuguay goes and using his stinking butthole keep defecating his crap and blah X3.. For anyone who doesn't know him, he's that type of butthole mouth that refuses to let people explain themselves and pour his fustration out like an old fuggly hag who just happened to have his/her period back again plus have a high degree of menopause. And that mcb kia ended the conversation with
" I don't care, if you don't have a necktie go buy now! " Stupid peephole..I just said my tie's with my friend. See, this dickhead don't listen to others. All he knows is he's angry cuz his wife rejected him and now he need me to shit out his fuss-tration..
The worst part is not that he's scolding me in front of the students.. In the end he threw my (my friend's) book and papers on the ground, something I pantang!!!PANTANG, you orang pantat!!! I won't even allow other people to cross over my book moreover throwing it onto the floor?!
%$#&^$#^$% you!!!
So I'm here to present the inauguration of o0o Mt. T*rtl* as the most idiotic, bastardish, bitchiest, whorish, trampiest, vampiest, trashiest, son-of-a-bitchiest, jackasshole of all time! From now onwards, I lost every single fabric strand of respect on him - forever..o0o nah!
Thx ^^ to Huan De's bro for telling PZS to pick them up before doggish prefects go pick my things up..
By the way the colloquium were ok.. Nice job guys..
Sorry for not including that colloquium and daily life part in this post.. But I hope that every single GB'es or T*rtl* haters might enjoy some trashing of 'injustice' in this school..XD o0o
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
MTV Video Music Awards 2009
So, I finally caught the VMA set in New York that Saturday with much anticipation..and it never failed to disappoint..
The show started with Madonna, Queen of Pop, giving an approx 8-mins speech about MJ..(this award show is also a tribute to Michael)..and it almost moved me to tears man..even Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boys is closing his eyes mourning, Jimmy Fallon looked teary eyed..
Here's what Madonna said:
' ... We went out a few more times together, and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then the witch hunt began, and it seemed like one negative story after another was coming out about Michael ... I know what it’s like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel like your voice can never be heard.
But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight.
...When Michael died ... All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature who had once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all passing judgement. Most of us had turned our backs on him. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and on stage and I thought, “my God, he was so unique, so original, so rare, and there will never be anyone like him again. He was a king.”
... I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age nine and four, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There’s a whole lot of crotch grabbing and moon walking going on in my house. And, it seems like a whole new generation of kids have discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is right now he is smiling about this.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king. '
Ya, I know, to some of you MJ is weird etc..whatever..just beat it..
The Jackson's have always fascinated me, moreover the bro-sis team collab on 'Scream'.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
In the Dark Corner of Life
Prostitution, one of the oldest 'job' in the world, provides pleasure for predators and nightmares for its prey. Millions of women suffered from it, especially when they are trafficked. Yet sex-craved men, sadistic and immoral, continue to make this business grow.
Child prostitution is ever-growing. Young boys and girls whom at a young age had been involved in the sex industry while we are still naive at their age. Uneducated and loved, they have no childhood and never truly see the world as we do.
Human are not much different from animals you see. When we have food, shelter, friends and a life, we are much of a civilized being. But when there is starvation, revolution, wild urges for sex, the thrill to hunt weaker beings, we are much like an animal ourselves.
If you feel some strand of compassionate when you looked at these, please pray for yourself, your family and friends; pray for the deluded to wake up from darkness; and eventually pray for those who are not fortunate enough to join us.
Pray for a better tomorrow...
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Miserable Weekend
Life last week is like suffocating in a deep water...
With more issues to come up due near future, I will be halting myself from further curricular activities and focus solely on academics and personal developments onwards...
AC came up to me and ask about whether I wanna be the advisor of the next camp this December. Before that, KM and others requested LZ and I to join them to be the advisor too (thanks, I appreciate it). Despite my low curricular posititon and the temptation of getting full marks, I turn it down in the end. My life has more than having to take some silly marks for stupid curricular grades. I felt a littel disheartening to turn down such offer, but there are more things I have to attend. And I seriously do not think my passive personality nowadays would make me a good leader.
That Saturday, LZ, Boy, HY, WJ and I went for the Bulletin Board Competition organised by school's Buddhist Society. Initially, I do not want to join it because of my loads but somehow LZ manage to persuade me to join it and I once again somehow wrote my name as the group leader, which I forgotten why I didn't say no in the first place. -_-lll
But during the holidays I had some stuffs and I forgotten bout that competition and ta-da we are in a rush to complete the whole thing. We had to go to LZ's house to try finish the whole stuff. And after dozens of hard work, we manage to complete the whole thing the next day. I felt damn guilty because it seems that LZ is the one who really contributed, not me. By the way, I lost my temper on Boy (real bad) because it was late night, I had to deliver watermelons to his house but he kept misleading me until I guess like I'd turn numerous rounds aroung Kg. Lapan, my petrol threatens to run out at any moment, my phone credit finished and Boy still have the damn nerve to miscall me when I already told him to call me back. And the next morning where the competition is to be held, he as a committe member woke up near 7am and did not cut the watermelons he promised. Once again I'm totally ****ed up.
In the end, we did not win any prize although we are fairly praised by the judges, the other team from GBS won. Congrats by the way. Their's is really creative, never before seen.
But LZ got so disappointed (so I guess, we really worked our ass off for this competition) so she straightaway walked back to her home without taking anything besides her bag. She is really emo nowadays. I somewhat released my temper on her today because of her emo-ness which I felt real guilty now (again).
And I had to 'destroy' the Bulletin after I get back. The day we make the bulletin is also the day where I destroy it. So it is disheartening (again). I mean, who doesn't wants to win? The only thing more important than winning is the aftermath. Whether we can accept the defeat and move on. Something we might failed to do at times. I guess LZ just can't take it. Both of us went through a difficult times lately. Still, I was pretty pissed when I found out there are two teams in our school that took part. It never occured to me (and I never asked as I thought there are no other competitors from our school that participate), I could've spend more time at home and doing what I SHOULD'VE done. In general, I'm ****ed up (again).
As that Saturday night and Sunday is hell for me again. I slept at 3am that Sat nite on cold, hard floor while trying to be alert to _______________________________________________
So, right now, I just want some rest and hopefully some peace in my mind for the moment.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Nah!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Up..
Thursday, August 27, 2009
To The Departed
As I grow up listening more to Western music compared to Eastern's, I noticed MJ in an early age and MJ is one word but captivating. His presence on stage is enough to spellbind you, and everytime you saw him even in television, you see the arrival of the greatest music icon you'll ever witness.
When you saw his performances in Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal etc, these performances are to be etched in your mind because they are meant to be modern classics.
Still, when his child molestation accusation worsens, I lose my respect for him and believes completely what the tabloids wrote. By then, I was still young, can't really blame me right (?) But now, those who accused him of that have came out and clear his name, confessing of frauding.
Then there's the incident where he see-saws his son, nicknamed Blanket since, by the balcony in front of the paparazzi. And his 101 bizarre behaviours etc.
Most people are disappointed by his actions including me. He falled as a star and changed into a bunch of crap to us. However, we may had forgotten that he is a human like us, only without a childhood, and always been looked up to. So that when he fell from grace into Wacko, we detested him as we had such high expectations from him. We had forgotten he is just a human like we do.
But lets not forget the joy and excitements he brought to us with his fast-paced singles and his smooth ballads plus all those dance moves that is still legendary today. And his contributions as a humanitarian/philantrophies with his Heal The World Aid.
In the end, he will always be remembered as the greatest icon in the 20th century... Lets raise a glass for all the joy and great times he gave us...and remember only the name Michael Jackson, King of Pop, the Moonwalker.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Lone Wolf
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
There are some moments where I felt myself so disheartening to continue such a life anymore. In the end, after I conquered that urge, I find myself just another loner you might see casually wandering in a lane, who stares into the cold night, thoughtless... Nobody understand me, or maybe no one can understand me. In this lonely corridor of life, I strive myself into the open world in the form a lone wolf, as this is what I were meant to be...
Life may change but I never want to change, I always wish to retain the light part in me. But if you hold something too tight, it slips away eventually...
Guys, let me go...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Pissed at Myself
>>
I've just went thru my first exams after never touching it for more than half a year.
And the results suck!! Someone fking shit me please. I really were so not myself nowadays... I lose interest in almost everything... I'm becoming like shit!
Whatever the shit is...no use crying over pooped shits...
Anyway, just had a chat with my dad this morning and he brings up *blah-blah-yada-yada*- whatever...not worth posting another shit that pisses me off. My mind immediatly tunes out the song 'Fa-ke' (pronounced as far-kur), a Chinese song by a new artist who has just released his second album, and its goood XD.
I forgotten his name in English, I'll give yall the link next time...
Anyway, I wish to run away from a life like this. I can't even concentrate on doing simple shitty Maths, and you can't expect me to shitting around and make myself concentrate on stupid F6 shit syllabus. Hope the plan of KS, ST, LC and I and probably others to go revise every Saturday evening may come true...or else I'm so gonna shit red shits the next exam... Looking forward to the holidays where there are spaces for us to breathe from shits again... Except the load of Mr. Mani's homework might makes you think twice that you gonna have a great time this holiday... I like his class, especially everytime he mention about studying overseas, it motivates me to work my fat ass off and achieve my goals- for a short shitting time only... Still, I'm looking forward to make home movies with my friends, I think it's gonna be fun and I hope it somehow releases my stress shits...
I'm becoming neutral lately...I guess today is the second time I almost shed tears this year. You can see how neutral I am now. I almost sobbed because of the show 'Six Children' (channel 301, weekdays 6pm). Maybe it sorta relates our incident with it... It's a good show, watch it if you think you have a lot of time to spend...=p
The song that tunes in my mind now is 'Fix You' by Coldplay, one of my favourite band. It goes:
"Lights will guide you home... And ignites your bones... And I will try to fix you..."
It somehow soothes my shitty temper... O Faith, I need you so much right now...
Sorry if I shitted on your time by having you reading such piece of shit...
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Movie Review: Sepet by the late Yasmin Ahmad
Yasmin's movie(s) are examples of revolutionised local movies, in an excellent way. I noticed our local productions other than her's- either Malay or Chinese are simply self-indulging rubbish (a quote taken from Simon Cowell).
The Malay's usually feature stars like Saiful Apek and his Senario gangs. Though I find Senario is quite entertaining when I was young, I soon grew to dislike it, mainly because it barely connects with audiences not of their race are as it starts to be more annoying because they keep acting like they are a little too loony, kinda feels like the Charlie Chaplin's time where they try to make themselves funny, but in this case not. This is not a race-biased statement, I detest mainland China & Taiwan's entertainment too, they act in a similiar way which I find it particularly irritating. The local Chinese try to imitate Taiwan's teen drama where the actress act cute and innocent as though they are sweet young virgins and the guys either too cool or innocent or sweet in a same way, they converse and act too fake and fabricated to be real. Even the family shows start to feel too indecent as more adult content are injected into its content. None of it feels original.
But the movie I watched is so much different from what I had seen before. Aspiring, enlighting, diverse, funny, sarcastic, touching, open and harmonic it is: blend them into a cake mixture and you will have a wonderfully iced cake when you took it off the oven: nice to view, a taste buds' pleasure and nutritious in a way; compose it, and you will have one of the most memorable music you will ever enjoyed that it will win numerous prestigous awards and be preserved as one of the greatest classics of all times. That is my personal opinion, check it out if you never watched it. Buy its DVD if you don't know what more you should buy with your bonus cash because it is worth to be selected as your collection. The film itself has won numerous Best Film awards.
I'll keep the synopsis simple and brief to avoid spilling the juice. As all Malaysians would know (you're not one if you never heard about it), this movie is about a love story sparked when a Chinese boy and a Malay girl fell in love in the same time when they set eyes upon each other. You may wonder: logic please... But love is not logic: it does not formed by equating formula or chemistry, it is naturally sparked when two people, regardless of any differences, have the jodoh / yuan fen...something again never meant to be explained...
And no, both characters, Orked and Jason, does not have a too different family background. Both families and characters are open to the wind of changes and does not keen to be conservative at all. In the movie, you can see Orked's parent having some time for naughty pleasures (not explicit), Jason's parent having usual brawls (in this case, it highlights that women are no longer subjected to male dominance), the Orked's family clad in sarung (there may be another name for it, correct me if I'm wrong) and combing each other's hair in the staircase, Jason having another Chinese girl pregnant and he wrote to Orked confessing his sins, innocently claiming he will leave that girl after she gave birth, in which she left him for good etc. The family, although completely different race and religion, indirectly embraces each other, which I believe that there are some out there who are willing to accept their children to fall in love with someone not their same 'kind'. It gives hope for young chaps like us to feel free to love and not be restricted by senseless norms.
The movie also highlighted some issues, some scenes really intrigued me:
Orked received 5 A's from her exam and were given scholarship to England, Mak Inom expresses her gratitude for it, Kak Yam sarcastically said something like this : " Jason have 7 A's. "
It explores the inclining towards Western cultures of the Malaysian youths. Orked was also criticed heavily from her friend's boyfriend, ridiculing her for dating someone not of her race, which she snaps back with more solid claims. There is also a dilemma of love between different races: Keong, Jason's friends expressed his concern that if Jason ever decided to spend his life with Orked, he will have too change his name, his religion and have his foreskin cut.
'Sepet' also spot spaces for Siamese, Malay and Cantonese songs as the movie is multi-lingial itself, including Nyonya-slang Malay, Cantonese, Hokkien, Malaysian English as well as Malay of course. I never enjoyed a local production so much as you can savour the film as though you are having delicacies from different races altogether... The mixing of different cultures seems more colourful and strong than any other movies had ever made.
There are plenty of funny moments inside, it sort of tackles our selfish norms at the same time, carving out the gap that still exist between races. Yet, it is not heavy and dark like 'Crash'. It gives you the light, soothing feeling that makes you ponder issues at the same time... You would not feel distant from friends of other cultures after you watched it, you would want to get closer more... There are better topics to discuss rather than politics and unhealthy arguements. Yasmin's movie makes you feel like a Malaysian, it is not a movie made to entertain Malays but Malaysians, you will surely feel closer to home even though the ending is in a melancholy tone.
I finally understand why people would say Yasmin is the true 1Malaysian, a statement I could not understand before this.
Guys, if you are racist or discriminant towards a particular sector of people, let go of it. I remembered having bitter and sweet moments during my National Service times, the dark part also exceeds the light one. I became quite a racist after I left, forgetting the wonderful moments I had and the feeling of being someone who does not shy away from others. I almost forgotten the great times I had with friends like Imam, Ajim, Fariz, Syuk, Pratish, Aizat, Ai, Nazi etc. The way we think is quite unusual, sometimes we remember the bad things that are so ugly that they are not worth being kept in the heart. I finally let go of the load and reminisense the good times and it feels light and joyful, those moments are the ones worth cherished. And after I finished the show, it brings back once again the good feeling, I get Yasmin's message clear-
and I wish her the peace she deserves in heaven.