Up..

I hang out with my dear friend, AK that Wednesday to watch 'Up'. Initially, I was supposed to go out with KS and friends for badminton that same day, but my right arm got injured when I played with WX & ZC on that Tuesday. So I opted for the movie. (Thanks for inviting me, guys)

Anyway, I woke up late that day, though luckily I didn't took much of his time to wait for me.

You see, it will be the last time I see him before he will be enrolled in Malaysian Aviation Academy on September 1. So, yeah gonna miss that bear guy..

So, we headed to DP and bought the tickets etc while refusing to let him belanja me. Cuz although I secretly enjoy having 'free lunch', it will make me feel guilty to let people pay for me while I never really belanja back..

Since it is Puasa month, he can't consume any food so we headed near the fountain there and talk about what we've been through especially myself. I told him everything about what's going on lately about me. So, he's the third person to know the complete story after my godsister. And I felt kinda relaxed after that.. Though he is still quite secretive about himself, I wished that he will be okay and his issues will not affect his progress during his days in the pilot school. And I wish him the best.

By the way, Up is a wonderful movie that captures my heart. The storyline is magnificently crafted, the characters vivid with their in-depth potraits and the animation is colourful. Overal, it is the movie that can makes you laugh and wet your eyes at the same time. There's barely a movie that is so interesting and fun nowadays. Gotta watch it if you haven't. It worths for the pennies you gave away.

* Good luck in the pursuing of your dreams, AK.

To The Departed

I planned to write about MJ yesterday as a 2-months anniversary of his death, but due to a high fever and strict internet curfew from my mum (which I am glad she imposed it), I missed the chance to write it yesterday. Though MJ's birthday is Aug 29, another 1 or 2 days. (30th in our region)

The reason why I would want to write about MJ is because of his amazing contributions to the entertainment world and his influence on millions of people including me.

A few months ago, when you mentioned MJ, it is like you're mentioning a joke. Now that he's dead, suddenly we remember what he used to be like for us. He used to be an idol for us. And still is.

As I grow up listening more to Western music compared to Eastern's, I noticed MJ in an early age and MJ is one word but captivating. His presence on stage is enough to spellbind you, and everytime you saw him even in television, you see the arrival of the greatest music icon you'll ever witness.



When you saw his performances in Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal etc, these performances are to be etched in your mind because they are meant to be modern classics.



Still, when his child molestation accusation worsens, I lose my respect for him and believes completely what the tabloids wrote. By then, I was still young, can't really blame me right (?) But now, those who accused him of that have came out and clear his name, confessing of frauding.
Then there's the incident where he see-saws his son, nicknamed Blanket since, by the balcony in front of the paparazzi. And his 101 bizarre behaviours etc.

Most people are disappointed by his actions including me. He falled as a star and changed into a bunch of crap to us. However, we may had forgotten that he is a human like us, only without a childhood, and always been looked up to. So that when he fell from grace into Wacko, we detested him as we had such high expectations from him. We had forgotten he is just a human like we do.

But lets not forget the joy and excitements he brought to us with his fast-paced singles and his smooth ballads plus all those dance moves that is still legendary today. And his contributions as a humanitarian/philantrophies with his Heal The World Aid.

In the end, he will always be remembered as the greatest icon in the 20th century... Lets raise a glass for all the joy and great times he gave us...and remember only the name Michael Jackson, King of Pop, the Moonwalker.

Lone Wolf

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

There are some moments where I felt myself so disheartening to continue such a life anymore. In the end, after I conquered that urge, I find myself just another loner you might see casually wandering in a lane, who stares into the cold night, thoughtless... Nobody understand me, or maybe no one can understand me. In this lonely corridor of life, I strive myself into the open world in the form a lone wolf, as this is what I were meant to be...
Life may change but I never want to change, I always wish to retain the light part in me. But if you hold something too tight, it slips away eventually...
Guys, let me go...

Pissed at Myself

NOTE: Contains profanity terms. Readers' discretion is adviced.
>>

I've just went thru my first exams after never touching it for more than half a year.
And the results suck!! Someone fking shit me please. I really were so not myself nowadays... I lose interest in almost everything... I'm becoming like shit!

Whatever the shit is...no use crying over pooped shits...

Anyway, just had a chat with my dad this morning and he brings up *blah-blah-yada-yada*- whatever...not worth posting another shit that pisses me off. My mind immediatly tunes out the song 'Fa-ke' (pronounced as far-kur), a Chinese song by a new artist who has just released his second album, and its goood XD.
I forgotten his name in English, I'll give yall the link next time...

Anyway, I wish to run away from a life like this. I can't even concentrate on doing simple shitty Maths, and you can't expect me to shitting around and make myself concentrate on stupid F6 shit syllabus. Hope the plan of KS, ST, LC and I and probably others to go revise every Saturday evening may come true...or else I'm so gonna shit red shits the next exam... Looking forward to the holidays where there are spaces for us to breathe from shits again... Except the load of Mr. Mani's homework might makes you think twice that you gonna have a great time this holiday... I like his class, especially everytime he mention about studying overseas, it motivates me to work my fat ass off and achieve my goals- for a short shitting time only... Still, I'm looking forward to make home movies with my friends, I think it's gonna be fun and I hope it somehow releases my stress shits...

I'm becoming neutral lately...I guess today is the second time I almost shed tears this year. You can see how neutral I am now. I almost sobbed because of the show 'Six Children' (channel 301, weekdays 6pm). Maybe it sorta relates our incident with it... It's a good show, watch it if you think you have a lot of time to spend...=p

The song that tunes in my mind now is 'Fix You' by Coldplay, one of my favourite band. It goes:
"Lights will guide you home... And ignites your bones... And I will try to fix you..."
It somehow soothes my shitty temper... O Faith, I need you so much right now...

Sorry if I shitted on your time by having you reading such piece of shit...

Movie Review: Sepet by the late Yasmin Ahmad

Before Yasmin's death, her movies had generated much publicitites, controversies and mixed reviews from local critics. Among the positives from general audiences, there are also the negatives from conservatives. I never really took notice on her movies until she finally passed away. I had just stumbled upon the movie 'Sepet' from channel 110 in ASTRO. And there is only one word to describe such local movie from our dear country: 'Magnificent'!

Yasmin's movie(s) are examples of revolutionised local movies, in an excellent way. I noticed our local productions other than her's- either Malay or Chinese are simply self-indulging rubbish (a quote taken from Simon Cowell).
The Malay's usually feature stars like Saiful Apek and his Senario gangs. Though I find Senario is quite entertaining when I was young, I soon grew to dislike it, mainly because it barely connects with audiences not of their race are as it starts to be more annoying because they keep acting like they are a little too loony, kinda feels like the Charlie Chaplin's time where they try to make themselves funny, but in this case not. This is not a race-biased statement, I detest mainland China & Taiwan's entertainment too, they act in a similiar way which I find it particularly irritating. The local Chinese try to imitate Taiwan's teen drama where the actress act cute and innocent as though they are sweet young virgins and the guys either too cool or innocent or sweet in a same way, they converse and act too fake and fabricated to be real. Even the family shows start to feel too indecent as more adult content are injected into its content. None of it feels original.


But the movie I watched is so much different from what I had seen before. Aspiring, enlighting, diverse, funny, sarcastic, touching, open and harmonic it is: blend them into a cake mixture and you will have a wonderfully iced cake when you took it off the oven: nice to view, a taste buds' pleasure and nutritious in a way; compose it, and you will have one of the most memorable music you will ever enjoyed that it will win numerous prestigous awards and be preserved as one of the greatest classics of all times. That is my personal opinion, check it out if you never watched it. Buy its DVD if you don't know what more you should buy with your bonus cash because it is worth to be selected as your collection. The film itself has won numerous Best Film awards.

I'll keep the synopsis simple and brief to avoid spilling the juice. As all Malaysians would know (you're not one if you never heard about it), this movie is about a love story sparked when a Chinese boy and a Malay girl fell in love in the same time when they set eyes upon each other. You may wonder: logic please... But love is not logic: it does not formed by equating formula or chemistry, it is naturally sparked when two people, regardless of any differences, have the jodoh / yuan fen...something again never meant to be explained...

And no, both characters, Orked and Jason, does not have a too different family background. Both families and characters are open to the wind of changes and does not keen to be conservative at all. In the movie, you can see Orked's parent having some time for naughty pleasures (not explicit), Jason's parent having usual brawls (in this case, it highlights that women are no longer subjected to male dominance), the Orked's family clad in sarung (there may be another name for it, correct me if I'm wrong) and combing each other's hair in the staircase, Jason having another Chinese girl pregnant and he wrote to Orked confessing his sins, innocently claiming he will leave that girl after she gave birth, in which she left him for good etc. The family, although completely different race and religion, indirectly embraces each other, which I believe that there are some out there who are willing to accept their children to fall in love with someone not their same 'kind'. It gives hope for young chaps like us to feel free to love and not be restricted by senseless norms.

The movie also highlighted some issues, some scenes really intrigued me:
Orked received 5 A's from her exam and were given scholarship to England, Mak Inom expresses her gratitude for it, Kak Yam sarcastically said something like this : " Jason have 7 A's. "
It explores the inclining towards Western cultures of the Malaysian youths. Orked was also criticed heavily from her friend's boyfriend, ridiculing her for dating someone not of her race, which she snaps back with more solid claims. There is also a dilemma of love between different races: Keong, Jason's friends expressed his concern that if Jason ever decided to spend his life with Orked, he will have too change his name, his religion and have his foreskin cut.

'Sepet' also spot spaces for Siamese, Malay and Cantonese songs as the movie is multi-lingial itself, including Nyonya-slang Malay, Cantonese, Hokkien, Malaysian English as well as Malay of course. I never enjoyed a local production so much as you can savour the film as though you are having delicacies from different races altogether... The mixing of different cultures seems more colourful and strong than any other movies had ever made.

There are plenty of funny moments inside, it sort of tackles our selfish norms at the same time, carving out the gap that still exist between races. Yet, it is not heavy and dark like 'Crash'. It gives you the light, soothing feeling that makes you ponder issues at the same time... You would not feel distant from friends of other cultures after you watched it, you would want to get closer more... There are better topics to discuss rather than politics and unhealthy arguements. Yasmin's movie makes you feel like a Malaysian, it is not a movie made to entertain Malays but Malaysians, you will surely feel closer to home even though the ending is in a melancholy tone.
I finally understand why people would say Yasmin is the true 1Malaysian, a statement I could not understand before this.

Guys, if you are racist or discriminant towards a particular sector of people, let go of it. I remembered having bitter and sweet moments during my National Service times, the dark part also exceeds the light one. I became quite a racist after I left, forgetting the wonderful moments I had and the feeling of being someone who does not shy away from others. I almost forgotten the great times I had with friends like Imam, Ajim, Fariz, Syuk, Pratish, Aizat, Ai, Nazi etc. The way we think is quite unusual, sometimes we remember the bad things that are so ugly that they are not worth being kept in the heart. I finally let go of the load and reminisense the good times and it feels light and joyful, those moments are the ones worth cherished. And after I finished the show, it brings back once again the good feeling, I get Yasmin's message clear-
and I wish her the peace she deserves in heaven.

:) + :(

I finally had my official haircut today since March, where a shaver is the substitute of scissors in that ‘tragic’ 20th March. I came back home, had lunch, rest, then went to the usual hairstylist I would visit, and… *drum-rolling* cut my hair.

You won’t understand how glad am I to have that haircut, especially for those who never undergone National Service. We waited so long for the moment where we can grow our hair back to its original length and have our usual hairstyle. Which NS boy who had his hair shaved on the day they arrived could ever forget that nightmarish lawnmower-like sound of that shaver?
And after constant critics from my friends: ‘Yeeer, your hair ugly/messy/funny lar…’, ‘Go cut your hair lar…’ etc, I realised I totally really need a haircut when I can’t manage my hair with that mousse anymore. A few words to express my feeling: glad, joyful etc.

Hence, I’m so ;D now…

But I were so fed-up for being a treasurer for that Ping Pong Competition, I never learn accounting before T.T and non of the committee replied me >W<
Help~

Human Nature

There was a rare meteor shower this early morning...

I had the urge to stay up and witness this event- there will not be many oppurtunities for us to experience this event in our lifetime. Yet I chose to wrap myself in bed rather than making stupid mythical wishes on those sprinkles. I unintentionally pondered things that may happen to me in the near future as I tried to force myself to doze off; when I finally managed myself to get a good sleeping position to rest myself, disturbing sequences flashed through my sight almost immediatly. It shocked me up from my short sleep. I can barely felt my feet for minutes from it, there were hot sweats trickling down my neck. Every strand of my courage had been robbed off for that instance, I almost tremble. How long can I live a life like this?

Unlike previous years, I would confide to my godsister or confess to the bronze statue of Siddhata. But as I grow up, I swallow my true feelings and pain so often even from them.

It is not the matter of trust- maybe just a matter of pride or the escalating stubbornness inside me. I swallow my pains from now on, I'm getting better in faking smiles and expressions when I'm in pain. And I think I've done a great job in faking expressions. And I try to remind myself constantly to not to accidentally step into holes leading to hypocracies every time I faked myself; it is like multi-tasking.

I know this is unhealthy and is nothing to be proud of, but I feel better at times- yet sometimes I just want to tell everyone what I've been through. Still, it is pointless, I used to feel worse when I told my friends what I've been through- funny huh?

Anyway, this dream concerns about my father and I. It brings back ugly memories and added to uglier image I had for him. I woke up feeling damn emo.

Thanks to a friend, he cheered my morning with some more ' "Yo Mama..." Jokes':
' Ur mother is so fat that when she fell in love she broke it. '
' Ur momma is so fat that when she went to the beach, the Greenpeace roll her back to the sea. ' etc...
Thanks, my draggy bitchy friend plus the entertainment from you guys today...

Anyway, we just finished our examination today. I don't really give a damn this time, I should not be surprised if I get two F's..

In the end of this day, I think I regretted not making stupid wishes on those meteor rain...

Human nature...