MTV Video Music Awards 2009

Honetly, who cares about boring, stupid Emmy, Academy blah blah awards. To me, MTV'S Awards shows always rox..

So, I finally caught the VMA set in New York that Saturday with much anticipation..and it never failed to disappoint..
The show started with Madonna, Queen of Pop, giving an approx 8-mins speech about MJ..(this award show is also a tribute to Michael)..and it almost moved me to tears man..even Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boys is closing his eyes mourning, Jimmy Fallon looked teary eyed..
Here's what Madonna said:

' ... We went out a few more times together, and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then the witch hunt began, and it seemed like one negative story after another was coming out about Michael ... I know what it’s like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel like your voice can never be heard.
But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight.
...When Michael died ... All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature who had once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all passing judgement. Most of us had turned our backs on him. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and on stage and I thought, “my God, he was so unique, so original, so rare, and there will never be anyone like him again. He was a king.”
... I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age nine and four, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There’s a whole lot of crotch grabbing and moon walking going on in my house. And, it seems like a whole new generation of kids have discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is right now he is smiling about this.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king. '

Ya, I know, to some of you MJ is weird etc..whatever..just beat it..

Then, after some dance tribute of MJ's songs, the one I'm waitin for: Janet's tribute to MJ.
The Jackson's have always fascinated me, moreover the bro-sis team collab on 'Scream'.

- Janet's performance on 3:23 - And it is *muax* fantastic..almost made my eyes wet again when I watched Janet touching almost-similiar dance with MJ in the background... Good job, Damita..

Anyway, there's also that jackass dickhead Kanye dissing our dear Taylor Swift. I jz wanna stuck my middle finger onto his damn pussy mouth, such a fking jerk...

Then there's all those performances.. Great ones, by Beyonce (who's gonna perform here at KL on my B*day :) unless PAS Youth chases her away -again- ), fridgin weird but cool Lady Gaga, my favourite P!nk etc.. It's the ladies nite...

Back to reality, there's tonnes- I said it, tonnes of works to do and to pass up / present after sch re-opens.

Damn, I hate my sch, wish it could get burned down...

So, that's it, catch MTV VMA 2009, it's repeating on Channel 713...

bb..

In the Dark Corner of Life

NOTE: Graphics with dark, disturbing element. Viewers' discretion is advised.

I just browsed through the Internet and found an article about Cultural Revolution in 70's China. One site liked to another and I found these pictures that have a profound impact on me. We used to think that our life is like u-gotta-point-ur-mid-finger-to-it and some who doesn't understand our situation when we're down will give advices/encouragements/councils etc to bring us back to the track, and we'll go like-I-care-whatcha-said. Still, our situations are not actually the worst of all. There are millions of incidents/tragedies where people being framed on, abused, raped, tortured etc happen everyday.

Chinese during the Cultural Revolution. Brainwashed youngsters, a.k.a. Red Guards who gave themselves to Mao Tse-tung and his government were willing to publicly denounce and ridicule their own parents and teachers as a sign of loyalty to the revolution and leaders.

Survived and liberated Jewish children from Nazi's concentration camp. They were used as experiment subjects on chemical weapon and suffered from starvation.

Prostitution, one of the oldest 'job' in the world, provides pleasure for predators and nightmares for its prey. Millions of women suffered from it, especially when they are trafficked. Yet sex-craved men, sadistic and immoral, continue to make this business grow.

Child prostitution is ever-growing. Young boys and girls whom at a young age had been involved in the sex industry while we are still naive at their age. Uneducated and loved, they have no childhood and never truly see the world as we do.

Human are not much different from animals you see. When we have food, shelter, friends and a life, we are much of a civilized being. But when there is starvation, revolution, wild urges for sex, the thrill to hunt weaker beings, we are much like an animal ourselves.

If you feel some strand of compassionate when you looked at these, please pray for yourself, your family and friends; pray for the deluded to wake up from darkness; and eventually pray for those who are not fortunate enough to join us.

Pray for a better tomorrow...

The Miserable Weekend

Life last week is like suffocating in a deep water...
With more issues to come up due near future, I will be halting myself from further curricular activities and focus solely on academics and personal developments onwards...

AC came up to me and ask about whether I wanna be the advisor of the next camp this December. Before that, KM and others requested LZ and I to join them to be the advisor too (thanks, I appreciate it). Despite my low curricular posititon and the temptation of getting full marks, I turn it down in the end. My life has more than having to take some silly marks for stupid curricular grades. I felt a littel disheartening to turn down such offer, but there are more things I have to attend. And I seriously do not think my passive personality nowadays would make me a good leader.

That Saturday, LZ, Boy, HY, WJ and I went for the Bulletin Board Competition organised by school's Buddhist Society. Initially, I do not want to join it because of my loads but somehow LZ manage to persuade me to join it and I once again somehow wrote my name as the group leader, which I forgotten why I didn't say no in the first place. -_-lll

But during the holidays I had some stuffs and I forgotten bout that competition and ta-da we are in a rush to complete the whole thing. We had to go to LZ's house to try finish the whole stuff. And after dozens of hard work, we manage to complete the whole thing the next day. I felt damn guilty because it seems that LZ is the one who really contributed, not me. By the way, I lost my temper on Boy (real bad) because it was late night, I had to deliver watermelons to his house but he kept misleading me until I guess like I'd turn numerous rounds aroung Kg. Lapan, my petrol threatens to run out at any moment, my phone credit finished and Boy still have the damn nerve to miscall me when I already told him to call me back. And the next morning where the competition is to be held, he as a committe member woke up near 7am and did not cut the watermelons he promised. Once again I'm totally ****ed up.

In the end, we did not win any prize although we are fairly praised by the judges, the other team from GBS won. Congrats by the way. Their's is really creative, never before seen.

But LZ got so disappointed (so I guess, we really worked our ass off for this competition) so she straightaway walked back to her home without taking anything besides her bag. She is really emo nowadays. I somewhat released my temper on her today because of her emo-ness which I felt real guilty now (again).
And I had to 'destroy' the Bulletin after I get back. The day we make the bulletin is also the day where I destroy it. So it is disheartening (again). I mean, who doesn't wants to win? The only thing more important than winning is the aftermath. Whether we can accept the defeat and move on. Something we might failed to do at times. I guess LZ just can't take it. Both of us went through a difficult times lately. Still, I was pretty pissed when I found out there are two teams in our school that took part. It never occured to me (and I never asked as I thought there are no other competitors from our school that participate), I could've spend more time at home and doing what I SHOULD'VE done. In general, I'm ****ed up (again).

As that Saturday night and Sunday is hell for me again. I slept at 3am that Sat nite on cold, hard floor while trying to be alert to _______________________________________________

So, right now, I just want some rest and hopefully some peace in my mind for the moment.

Nah!

NOTE: Graphics included, not suitable for minors; only majors will like it.

I shouldn't be blogging actually:

>> with heavy undone curricular activities' projects

>> left-out academically

>> tonnes of P&C matters to attend to

But I am so dissatisfied with my life, so this is to life and my ego- NAH!

Thx for making my life miserable...

Up..

I hang out with my dear friend, AK that Wednesday to watch 'Up'. Initially, I was supposed to go out with KS and friends for badminton that same day, but my right arm got injured when I played with WX & ZC on that Tuesday. So I opted for the movie. (Thanks for inviting me, guys)

Anyway, I woke up late that day, though luckily I didn't took much of his time to wait for me.

You see, it will be the last time I see him before he will be enrolled in Malaysian Aviation Academy on September 1. So, yeah gonna miss that bear guy..

So, we headed to DP and bought the tickets etc while refusing to let him belanja me. Cuz although I secretly enjoy having 'free lunch', it will make me feel guilty to let people pay for me while I never really belanja back..

Since it is Puasa month, he can't consume any food so we headed near the fountain there and talk about what we've been through especially myself. I told him everything about what's going on lately about me. So, he's the third person to know the complete story after my godsister. And I felt kinda relaxed after that.. Though he is still quite secretive about himself, I wished that he will be okay and his issues will not affect his progress during his days in the pilot school. And I wish him the best.

By the way, Up is a wonderful movie that captures my heart. The storyline is magnificently crafted, the characters vivid with their in-depth potraits and the animation is colourful. Overal, it is the movie that can makes you laugh and wet your eyes at the same time. There's barely a movie that is so interesting and fun nowadays. Gotta watch it if you haven't. It worths for the pennies you gave away.

* Good luck in the pursuing of your dreams, AK.

To The Departed

I planned to write about MJ yesterday as a 2-months anniversary of his death, but due to a high fever and strict internet curfew from my mum (which I am glad she imposed it), I missed the chance to write it yesterday. Though MJ's birthday is Aug 29, another 1 or 2 days. (30th in our region)

The reason why I would want to write about MJ is because of his amazing contributions to the entertainment world and his influence on millions of people including me.

A few months ago, when you mentioned MJ, it is like you're mentioning a joke. Now that he's dead, suddenly we remember what he used to be like for us. He used to be an idol for us. And still is.

As I grow up listening more to Western music compared to Eastern's, I noticed MJ in an early age and MJ is one word but captivating. His presence on stage is enough to spellbind you, and everytime you saw him even in television, you see the arrival of the greatest music icon you'll ever witness.



When you saw his performances in Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal etc, these performances are to be etched in your mind because they are meant to be modern classics.



Still, when his child molestation accusation worsens, I lose my respect for him and believes completely what the tabloids wrote. By then, I was still young, can't really blame me right (?) But now, those who accused him of that have came out and clear his name, confessing of frauding.
Then there's the incident where he see-saws his son, nicknamed Blanket since, by the balcony in front of the paparazzi. And his 101 bizarre behaviours etc.

Most people are disappointed by his actions including me. He falled as a star and changed into a bunch of crap to us. However, we may had forgotten that he is a human like us, only without a childhood, and always been looked up to. So that when he fell from grace into Wacko, we detested him as we had such high expectations from him. We had forgotten he is just a human like we do.

But lets not forget the joy and excitements he brought to us with his fast-paced singles and his smooth ballads plus all those dance moves that is still legendary today. And his contributions as a humanitarian/philantrophies with his Heal The World Aid.

In the end, he will always be remembered as the greatest icon in the 20th century... Lets raise a glass for all the joy and great times he gave us...and remember only the name Michael Jackson, King of Pop, the Moonwalker.

Lone Wolf

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

There are some moments where I felt myself so disheartening to continue such a life anymore. In the end, after I conquered that urge, I find myself just another loner you might see casually wandering in a lane, who stares into the cold night, thoughtless... Nobody understand me, or maybe no one can understand me. In this lonely corridor of life, I strive myself into the open world in the form a lone wolf, as this is what I were meant to be...
Life may change but I never want to change, I always wish to retain the light part in me. But if you hold something too tight, it slips away eventually...
Guys, let me go...