Reform

Less than a week and I'll turn 18.

18 : Freedom to consume alcohol & cigars @ pubs =p
No more juvy records if I'd broken a law, I'm considered a young adult now.. :(

But the most important thing is to burn some bridges and to build new ones

That's the important, painful part.
No more virtual fantasies, just vivid realities.

I will have to build my own path. No helps (perhaps some =p). No obstructions should inflate me.

Time to find my true soul.

No more dramas, tired of them, not as fun as we've watched on TV.

It's all about the grey future.
Picking up the past tenses and find its clues, or if could, repair them.

Wondering whether I should be a realist or a hopeful? Hmm.. that is yet to be decided..

THIS IS IT

Finally, a time to fully grow up.

Goodbye to childhood and teenagehood. They shall turn into bitter dust and dirt now.

Hello to future. Dark or light. I shall lay the road.

Release the fishes in the aquarium. Let them be free, and lead me.

Look at the doves. Listen to their songs.

I will be free. Once I found my way.

Bitter Heart: " Change "

Ok, everyone of my age might all blog about how miserable they felt cuz exam is near and we are still laying our butt on the couch...yeah...

But- I just wanna YEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL...!!!!

K, I ain't denying the fact that I didn't done anything at all to catch up... I did revised- but it is not sufficient for a Form 6 syllabus...

Alright I'll stop here so I can get back to those boring turd books. One thing for sure is that I ain't gonna take any course concerning science stream for my tertiary study in the future... Man, science is just really reeeaally not my stuff. Now I understand why those who take science career usually be regarede as nerd/geeks cuz these things are just so damn boring; I personally don't understand why people would find calculating how much force exerts on a falling/levelating object interesting @ how some salt/base/acid react by observing stupid colour changes etc things I dunno what I'm talking now and blah blah blah...

You can see why only people who took arts stream can become politicians or artists dll which for me is a much more interesting subject...

Haiz...I dunno...

Change is needed for me and reform must be implemented...

Anti-T*rtl*!

Aggressive use of defamotories and some strong languages. Readers' discretion adviced.

Hmm.. so this week my friends and I had colloquium session in Tuesday (MUET) and Thursday (PA) respectively..

Almost all when well.. ALMOST..

So on Tues, we had to prepare our slide show early before the classes start. So LC, LZ, ML, E went to the hall first, and i went back to my classroom to pick up LC's grammar book and my papers. I didn't wear my stupid necktie cuz the feeling of a strangling tie on my neck makes me more nervous than ever. And after that I'm on my way to the hall before *oh-snap* I stumbled on dear discipline master of my school, Mr. T*rtl*..

And I turned another direction just to avoid that bitter, moody, last-nite-his-wife-refused-to-have-sex-with-him looking old fraud. And so unlucky I am, he saw me and tell one of his kai-kia and call me back.

So there I am just going to explain myself and that animal snapped:

(with that fking irritating high-pitch-amplitude-nasal)

" What is more important? "


-" Sir, I was ju..."


" (higher nasal) What is more important you tell me."


(and I'm trying to catch what he said there before he exploded with that cb style voice)
(try pinch your nose and repeat this sentense and you'll know why it is so damn irritating)

" Which one more important? Lining up or your stupid colloquium? And where is your necktie? What form are you? Lower Six isit? Why didn't you wear your necktie? "


" My necktie with my friend now I.. "


"I DON'T CARE! YOU SHOULD __________ AND _________..."


and there Master Wuguay goes and using his stinking butthole keep defecating his crap and blah X3.. For anyone who doesn't know him, he's that type of butthole mouth that refuses to let people explain themselves and pour his fustration out like an old fuggly hag who just happened to have his/her period back again plus have a high degree of menopause. And that mcb kia ended the conversation with


" I don't care, if you don't have a necktie go buy now! " Stupid peephole..I just said my tie's with my friend. See, this dickhead don't listen to others. All he knows is he's angry cuz his wife rejected him and now he need me to shit out his fuss-tration..

The worst part is not that he's scolding me in front of the students.. In the end he threw my (my friend's) book and papers on the ground, something I pantang!!!PANTANG, you orang pantat!!! I won't even allow other people to cross over my book moreover throwing it onto the floor?!


%$#&^$#^$% you!!!

So I'm here to present the inauguration of o0o Mt. T*rtl* as the most idiotic, bastardish, bitchiest, whorish, trampiest, vampiest, trashiest, son-of-a-bitchiest, jackasshole of all time! From now onwards, I lost every single fabric strand of respect on him - forever..o0o nah!

Thx ^^ to Huan De's bro for telling PZS to pick them up before doggish prefects go pick my things up..


By the way the colloquium were ok.. Nice job guys..
Sorry for not including that colloquium and daily life part in this post.. But I hope that every single GB'es or T*rtl* haters might enjoy some trashing of 'injustice' in this school..XD o0o

MTV Video Music Awards 2009

Honetly, who cares about boring, stupid Emmy, Academy blah blah awards. To me, MTV'S Awards shows always rox..

So, I finally caught the VMA set in New York that Saturday with much anticipation..and it never failed to disappoint..
The show started with Madonna, Queen of Pop, giving an approx 8-mins speech about MJ..(this award show is also a tribute to Michael)..and it almost moved me to tears man..even Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boys is closing his eyes mourning, Jimmy Fallon looked teary eyed..
Here's what Madonna said:

' ... We went out a few more times together, and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then the witch hunt began, and it seemed like one negative story after another was coming out about Michael ... I know what it’s like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel like your voice can never be heard.
But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight.
...When Michael died ... All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature who had once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all passing judgement. Most of us had turned our backs on him. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and on stage and I thought, “my God, he was so unique, so original, so rare, and there will never be anyone like him again. He was a king.”
... I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age nine and four, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There’s a whole lot of crotch grabbing and moon walking going on in my house. And, it seems like a whole new generation of kids have discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is right now he is smiling about this.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king. '

Ya, I know, to some of you MJ is weird etc..whatever..just beat it..

Then, after some dance tribute of MJ's songs, the one I'm waitin for: Janet's tribute to MJ.
The Jackson's have always fascinated me, moreover the bro-sis team collab on 'Scream'.

- Janet's performance on 3:23 - And it is *muax* fantastic..almost made my eyes wet again when I watched Janet touching almost-similiar dance with MJ in the background... Good job, Damita..

Anyway, there's also that jackass dickhead Kanye dissing our dear Taylor Swift. I jz wanna stuck my middle finger onto his damn pussy mouth, such a fking jerk...

Then there's all those performances.. Great ones, by Beyonce (who's gonna perform here at KL on my B*day :) unless PAS Youth chases her away -again- ), fridgin weird but cool Lady Gaga, my favourite P!nk etc.. It's the ladies nite...

Back to reality, there's tonnes- I said it, tonnes of works to do and to pass up / present after sch re-opens.

Damn, I hate my sch, wish it could get burned down...

So, that's it, catch MTV VMA 2009, it's repeating on Channel 713...

bb..

In the Dark Corner of Life

NOTE: Graphics with dark, disturbing element. Viewers' discretion is advised.

I just browsed through the Internet and found an article about Cultural Revolution in 70's China. One site liked to another and I found these pictures that have a profound impact on me. We used to think that our life is like u-gotta-point-ur-mid-finger-to-it and some who doesn't understand our situation when we're down will give advices/encouragements/councils etc to bring us back to the track, and we'll go like-I-care-whatcha-said. Still, our situations are not actually the worst of all. There are millions of incidents/tragedies where people being framed on, abused, raped, tortured etc happen everyday.

Chinese during the Cultural Revolution. Brainwashed youngsters, a.k.a. Red Guards who gave themselves to Mao Tse-tung and his government were willing to publicly denounce and ridicule their own parents and teachers as a sign of loyalty to the revolution and leaders.

Survived and liberated Jewish children from Nazi's concentration camp. They were used as experiment subjects on chemical weapon and suffered from starvation.

Prostitution, one of the oldest 'job' in the world, provides pleasure for predators and nightmares for its prey. Millions of women suffered from it, especially when they are trafficked. Yet sex-craved men, sadistic and immoral, continue to make this business grow.

Child prostitution is ever-growing. Young boys and girls whom at a young age had been involved in the sex industry while we are still naive at their age. Uneducated and loved, they have no childhood and never truly see the world as we do.

Human are not much different from animals you see. When we have food, shelter, friends and a life, we are much of a civilized being. But when there is starvation, revolution, wild urges for sex, the thrill to hunt weaker beings, we are much like an animal ourselves.

If you feel some strand of compassionate when you looked at these, please pray for yourself, your family and friends; pray for the deluded to wake up from darkness; and eventually pray for those who are not fortunate enough to join us.

Pray for a better tomorrow...

The Miserable Weekend

Life last week is like suffocating in a deep water...
With more issues to come up due near future, I will be halting myself from further curricular activities and focus solely on academics and personal developments onwards...

AC came up to me and ask about whether I wanna be the advisor of the next camp this December. Before that, KM and others requested LZ and I to join them to be the advisor too (thanks, I appreciate it). Despite my low curricular posititon and the temptation of getting full marks, I turn it down in the end. My life has more than having to take some silly marks for stupid curricular grades. I felt a littel disheartening to turn down such offer, but there are more things I have to attend. And I seriously do not think my passive personality nowadays would make me a good leader.

That Saturday, LZ, Boy, HY, WJ and I went for the Bulletin Board Competition organised by school's Buddhist Society. Initially, I do not want to join it because of my loads but somehow LZ manage to persuade me to join it and I once again somehow wrote my name as the group leader, which I forgotten why I didn't say no in the first place. -_-lll

But during the holidays I had some stuffs and I forgotten bout that competition and ta-da we are in a rush to complete the whole thing. We had to go to LZ's house to try finish the whole stuff. And after dozens of hard work, we manage to complete the whole thing the next day. I felt damn guilty because it seems that LZ is the one who really contributed, not me. By the way, I lost my temper on Boy (real bad) because it was late night, I had to deliver watermelons to his house but he kept misleading me until I guess like I'd turn numerous rounds aroung Kg. Lapan, my petrol threatens to run out at any moment, my phone credit finished and Boy still have the damn nerve to miscall me when I already told him to call me back. And the next morning where the competition is to be held, he as a committe member woke up near 7am and did not cut the watermelons he promised. Once again I'm totally ****ed up.

In the end, we did not win any prize although we are fairly praised by the judges, the other team from GBS won. Congrats by the way. Their's is really creative, never before seen.

But LZ got so disappointed (so I guess, we really worked our ass off for this competition) so she straightaway walked back to her home without taking anything besides her bag. She is really emo nowadays. I somewhat released my temper on her today because of her emo-ness which I felt real guilty now (again).
And I had to 'destroy' the Bulletin after I get back. The day we make the bulletin is also the day where I destroy it. So it is disheartening (again). I mean, who doesn't wants to win? The only thing more important than winning is the aftermath. Whether we can accept the defeat and move on. Something we might failed to do at times. I guess LZ just can't take it. Both of us went through a difficult times lately. Still, I was pretty pissed when I found out there are two teams in our school that took part. It never occured to me (and I never asked as I thought there are no other competitors from our school that participate), I could've spend more time at home and doing what I SHOULD'VE done. In general, I'm ****ed up (again).

As that Saturday night and Sunday is hell for me again. I slept at 3am that Sat nite on cold, hard floor while trying to be alert to _______________________________________________

So, right now, I just want some rest and hopefully some peace in my mind for the moment.

Nah!

NOTE: Graphics included, not suitable for minors; only majors will like it.

I shouldn't be blogging actually:

>> with heavy undone curricular activities' projects

>> left-out academically

>> tonnes of P&C matters to attend to

But I am so dissatisfied with my life, so this is to life and my ego- NAH!

Thx for making my life miserable...