The Revolution Will Not Be Blogged

To A New Place

2011-03-10T23:05:00.001+08:00

I have no more desire to write here anymore..new place perhaps??

One

2010-08-07T13:39:00.002+08:00

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life

One

R.I.P. 黑怪

2010-07-24T23:56:00.008+08:00

小狗Teddy来以后小妹就很少陪它了。
但我也不怪她，人之常情...

黑怪它乃家中第一个宝。贪吃、好动、友善、还很香下xP（因为他很黏妹，沾到了妹头发的洗发水味道）。
生前拍下了它很多的照片，全老鼠家族它的最多。

希望你一路好走...

黑怪
xx/xx/08 - 21/07/10

Nostalgic

2010-07-21T23:03:00.009+08:00

Form 6 Physics 2 (nvm whether upper or lower or not ^^) celebrated Pn. Nur Jannah's birthday today.

Wc and I went to Zen yesterday and bought Chocolate Indulgence from Zen.
Kada and crew came up with this great idea to make a huge board with pockets each labelled with an alphabet (symbols included) of ' "Happy Birthday Pn. Nur Jannah" ', each pockets inserted with a card from all members of 6F2, with our wishes and a pic so that she'll never forget our faces. Li-Za proposed that all of us went missing to surprise Pn. NJ, which just a few participated lol =.=
Still, we prepared the cake at F3, Peh with his guitar, lc there stand by to sing, with other class members who 'went missing' outside and we went in...

Situation gets merrier when lc, samson and also weesern also joined in to perform. Then our lovebirds classmate jk and grace are asked to intro their partner to Pn. NJ...
The part where everybody sing, reminds me so much of the great, crazy, laid back time we had last year. Never in my secondary school life as been this interesting haha...

I'll never forget this day...

Our days in school are really numbered. Everybody gotta work hard now. Especially you lc and ks, lol
We'll work together k...

精神革命

2010-07-17T15:19:00.001+08:00

剩下大概三个月半了，是时候闭门练功咯。

These Days

2010-07-17T02:32:00.009+08:00

These days, I'm feeling a lil more optimistic inside me...
Which is a good sign for me hehe... Imma luvin' the laid-back, crazy sick attitude I'm having now. Don't really care too much anymore...

Hmm, a friend of mine suggested that this blog is too boring. Haha thanks for telling me.. I gotta add some flavours in it.

So, today I wanna introduce y'all to my tiny fam members.

The Youngest Son.
Chubby(and when I said chubby
I meant fat), dreamy and anti-social

Mommy.
Hot(got curves xP), gentle and
by now delivered more than 10 babies gua...

The Father.
Most popular, photogenic,
spoiled by sis, lovable.

Mom with her eye 'winked'

Little Pink Hooded Papa, just bathed, and get spoiled~

lol...too much picture of them, can't put them sekali gus so maybe again next time ba..

xx xx

2010-06-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

最近很乱啊我的头脑～不懂做么会酱。。。。该去学静坐养神。。。

要开学了。虽然有读到书、做到练习但还是不足够。
又有一个王八蛋R＆D要做，显！

近来脾气会比较坏点。姓杨的（不是我）！我很想再跟你吵架多一次。你竟然可以什么都不管什么都不理，真的很想巴你。认识了你这么久，就中六我们不断地翻脸又和好，这样重复很累。你几时变得这么X了？算了我也显了，你自己来加把劲吧。。

xx xx

讲开心的。昨天party很爽，回家时已三点了哈哈swt～过后第一次看足球赛－巴西对朝鲜，到四点多，刺激。长得这么大了才会欣赏足球赛 xP 巴西万岁！朝鲜也不错，虽然我是反共的但你们真的很好，起码也为亚洲争光，输得也光彩有专业。今天补六小时的习，要颠了哈哈。。。

大家加油！！

Thanks

2010-06-08T00:09:00.004+08:00

MUET Night is over. I kinda miss performing on stage and yeah, it's my first time performing on stage- and I'm loving it ^^

Thanks to:-
>>Lc. For inviting me to join the opening act of Bad Romance, I really enjoy it.
Bravo too for making the seemingly impossible/fussy MUET Night happened.
>>Kb. For choreographing, even though I don't really like my 'solo' haha but thanks for the part.
>>Every dancers. For sportingly coming out of our shells and hit the stage.
>>David. For leading this double-dose-MV of our class.
>>Li-Za. For her dedication, and getting thru this headache by tirelessly keeping the sailing straight.
>>also to Kada. For her sheer determination and courage.

Bad Romance

Watch the vid here

After this: Revision + revision + revision.
All Form 6 add oil ya.

Vesak

2010-05-28T10:31:00.006+08:00

from my view...

is the day when Siddhata Gautama was borned, has attained enlightenment and died. These events occured in the same day.
Buddhism is not a religion as most people interpret it, since it does not preaches god(s) and sets rules for its devotees to follow. It is not much of philosophy or ideology either. According to sangha (monks) and most practitioner, Buddhism is a way of life. The common goal for Buddhists is to be liberated from all forms of sufferings, physical ailments and reincarnation, and wisdom via attaining enlightenment.
Many mistaken the Buddha as a god/deity. Buddha is also been mistaken as the maker of universe or God for us Buddhist. In actual fact, he is a man who cannot create miracle or procure magic.
Enlightenment/Nirvana, as of my interpretation and as most Buddhist believe, is where a human attained a state where he/she is able to seek truths; is free of any desires, negativity and cannot be moved by any temptations; no longer be bound by reincarnation and physical ailments; and is very wise.
Buddha has the ability to help people who have trouble with their lives and lead them, like a teacher teaching students in their studies. He serves as more or less a spiritual psychotherapist too.
There are 3 main branch of Buddhism: Theravada, Mahayana and Vajrayana; alongside Zen, Pure Land sect etc..
The main branches existing in Malaysia are Mahayana, where most of the devotees are Chinese and its teachings here blends together with Pure Land sect; Theravada, where its monks are mostly from Nepal, Sri Lanka or India. Theravada is said to be the closest to the oldest teachings.
Buddhism encourages open-mindedness and logic thinking. Unlike what most TV shows portrait it as a strict, ultra-conservative religion. Hence, there are no strict rules for its devotees, only advice/restrains like the restraints: no killings, alcohols, lies, immoral sexual behavior. Only sangha need to follow the restrain strictly.
Still, like I just said, Buddhism promotes logical and critical thinking. Eg. A monk saw a man running towards him with blood all over his body and hid beneath the bushes behind this monk. He pleads the monk to help him. Then come a man with a weapon who is finding for that hiding man. The weapon wielding man asks the monk about the hiding man's whereabouts. Since monks are not allowed to lie, aren't he supposed to tell the truth but at the same time will cost the innocent man's life?
Well in this case, it is not an offense for the monk to tell lie. This is where I like to clear the stereotypes of Buddhist monks as straight-thinking persons.
We do not believe in unforgivable sins and permanent residency in hell.
We also accept any social views as long as it does not psychologically harm the society and causes great sufferings.
Buddhism ponders life, not creationism.
When Buddhism is just established, there are no written word yet in Northen India. The Dharma (Buddha's teaching) is passed down verbally until words are created. There are also not much restrictions in Buddhism, devotees are free to interpret what they believe and not to follow blindly. Sadly, most Buddhists are rather superstitious and accept blindly what is taught to them. Different branches have different approaches and believes, where some like in Thailand and certain sects that blended with other believes like Pure Land are more religion-like, which leads to misinterpretations from others. This scene is can be seen in shows like 西游记.
Most people thinks that Buddhism is pessimistic. We are serious when in our elements to Buddhism because we are open to the world, we not only study the Dharma but the world, more or less like General Studies. Hence we seem to be more sobre, but underneath that mantra siting and meditation are thankfulness, understanding and calmness. We are only not as optimistic/active as others.
FYI, the term 'Buddha' is known as The Awakened One.

lol, I'm not an educator. But I do wish to use all my knowledge on Buddhism to clear the fog surrounding Buddhism. If there's any mistakes do tell me tq.
Thanks to Bhante Kovida, Mr. Oh Kim Leng and my uncle for leading me.

Lazy

2010-05-13T02:02:00.002+08:00

最近比较懒惰要更新部落...

刚温习化学边听电台，是爱FM的＇安全考古地带＇，主持人叫吉安。这节目令我再次对华文音乐产生了兴趣，尤其是非主流／独立系音乐。
每晚九点到十一点。本人较喜欢拜一、三、五的，分别是关于音乐／电影／艺术的谈访、传统华乐、独立西洋或华文音乐。
非常喜欢＾＾
http://jiankaogudidai.blogspot.com/

等考完试了再会回来。有挺多事情想分享。

为考试加劲吧，朋友们！

Miss You Much

2010-04-29T00:14:00.007+08:00

18/04/10 It rained rather heavily last Saturday night.
The weather was cool, the air exceptionally fresh, the grass was wet and the soil was soft, they make the task to dig a small grave guiltily easier.

He has been a good companion. He is gentle for most of the times, and can be quite stubborn at times, just like me. There are times where I would bring him out of his small container home, and place him on top of our messy dining table so he can walk around freely. And I always remind him in Chi: ' Don't ever attempt to jump off the table. ' Which he does of course, most of the times until someday he finally at least know what I'm trying to convey and ceased to jump off. I'm really amazed at how he managed to survive that 3 feet jump judging from his size, all the time again.
He does not eat much too, he can be picky sometimes. So I switch between cereals, carrots, peanuts or pet food, and if I could some apple cubes.
He loves to exercise on the hamster's exercise ball like his mother, who is still alive now. And he can be really silly sometimes, by pooping or peeing inside the ball yet still continue to run. In the end, he created a mess.
Unlike most hamsters, he never attempt to bite you, if he's about to do so, he'll give you a gentle warning.
Like me, the two of us love to daydream. He'll sit at the corner of his home, and look like a meditating furry monk.

Before he departs, he barely touched a food nor a drop of water. It kills me inside to see a friend over the edge, and unable to do anything about it. So many fond memories I would like to share, but I guess I'll keep them to myself.
Miss you much.

米弟＠阿麦
06/01/09 - 18/04/10

Fooling in April

2010-04-16T04:38:00.003+08:00

A lot of things progressed this month.

We got more lovebugs. And some friendships clarified, some repaired, some still hanging.
But the most important thing, is that I'm progressing.
I'm starting to pick up the pieces and really pave my way ahead.
No time to lose. Everything is so fast that if you do not make yourself to follow, you will be left out. Especially in terms of studies.
Now I realised how important it is to really finish or at least try to do those homework given. And to revise every week what you've learned cuz you'll be forgetting them after a month.
I should have done them since last year.
But, this is always me. Self-destruct before self-constructing again.

And guess what? I really appreciate Form 6. It may be the busiest and f-ed up year I ever spent on, still I'm grateful for all the friends I know this year. Especially the few of you- you know who you are.
Thanks for appearing in my life.

PS/ I LOOOVE indie musics a lot now. Mainstream is no longer my taste.

The Horizon

2010-04-03T03:20:00.004+08:00

I used to have the map on my hands.

Out of some reasons, we lose ourselves in crossroads.

Hence, I must search for my home, once again by myself.

I need to wave away the fog, so I can see signboards again.

I must find sunshine again. Because dark clouds only pale your skin.

And on the road, I will choose to make wrong turns, because I am still allowed to.

It will be difficult to go back, as I had forgotten to cast pebbles on the paths I trodden.

But I must reach my home again.

And I promise myself, that I will reach there.

March of Life

2010-03-29T05:11:00.013+08:00

终于再接触我的部落了...好就没来哈哈长草了...

考试成绩刚刚分完。就像 Mr. Chin 所预测，班上的女学生都崛起了，我认为前十名超过一半都是女生。而全部科目没有 fail 的也仅仅三、四位罢了。
但对那些用工的朋友们，恭喜你们哦，耕耘付出了，希望你们再接在励！继续为理二班争光，顺便记得照顾好身子哦＾＾不然累坏就不好了...

这次三月假期过得还挺充实的。假期前的星期五，带了妹妹跟了一班朋友去看 "Alice In Wonderland" 3D版，还第一次坐在最前的一排，看完了有点晕晕地走出来。对于那些不怎么重视影音特效的朋友，可以的话就别去买3D版的戏票吧，很废下又贵。挺Enjoy...＾＾

礼拜天，家里买了一只小狗，西施 + poodle种，两个月多的小公狗，连叫声都未成熟哈哈很可爱。名字也还没正式地定下=P 或是NoNo/BoyBoy/Teddy／球球，我们都还没同意要怎称呼它。每天早上它都会来个 morning call，很烦下 T＿T 但每当他用那眼神看你的时候，你就会不舍得对它大呼小叫了哈哈。

拜四去唱K！终于再可以唱K了，等这时候很久了。LC 的唱功进步了很多，比以前更流畅百倍、想不到 AMY ＆ STEPH 唱歌很好听，高音拉得好厉害下、KB 竟会唱蓝调／爵士歌得超想样有才华；我呢？想不到会点绕舌哦哈哈... 更enjoy..＾＾

拜五去拜访婷。她真的成熟了很多 =）女大十六变咯，很高兴再次能和你相聚。

那，星期一到四学校则有补化学课。真辛苦了老师，花力又花时间来辛辛苦苦地教我们，但很多人都没出席。

开学...
星期五更糟糕，补课出席的人数又寥寥无几，尤其是男生。我也不想再fail化学了。我知道我可以的，Insya-Allah,今天就开始吧！不辜负老师也不浪费自己。其实，很多时候都是学生自己的问题。老师怎么教书法不适合自己的口味也不该放纵。中六真的跟中五的差别很大，得靠的始终是自己。

OPS！对了，星期四是Rachel & Elaine的生日。竟忘了向你们祝贺，说是迟，无论如何，十九快乐哦！！＾＾

大家加油！！

Observing

2010-02-27T03:51:00.003+08:00

hmm..
I'm feeling kinda lazy nowadays to update my blog.
Mainly because I'm surfing a few websites at the same time, leaving 'New Post' there staring blankly at me; so I wrote blank things in return. And by the way, I'm itching to type in Mandarin again. I dunno why but I feel it helps me express more than what Eng can. It's funny you know, I used to thought that I have a fling with Eng, as I love to write and think (yeah, thinking) in Eng.
But no choice, I wanna type more in Eng to see how far my grammar goes. So in case I'm having major gram mistake do notify me haha~

Well school's been a rush as usual. BUT, I feel that I'm starting to catch up: I can actually pay 35% more concentration in class compared to last time. Not bad, a leap at least...
Cuz there are things (a lot of things actually) happening around me, somehow they are so #*^#ing annoying, that they prompted me to build this wall of emotions. It's a huge barrier, against unpleasent thoughts and raw emotions + laziness. It kinda work.
But I'm acting more weird. Eg, I wanna say something that's important to someone or else it may cause some misunderstanding, I somehow didn't express myself, and other things which are similiar to this incident. Here's the flaw of my barrier: Difficulty to express.

Of this wall thingy, I learnt about it from articles concerning psychology, online. Pretty awkward when you first heard it, but in fact it's so true, not those felt like made up weird thingy. As what I'd deduce from my observations. Some of my friends have this partial barrier too, in order to concentrate, they choose to ignore certain events and people some times, which rather annoy me. Imagine I'm talking to you, and you and I knew that you're listening, but you act like I ain't talking to you. =.= Well this barrier is for me to filter minor things out, more of a sort of 'meditating' while in conscious state, to block other outer influences and to focus on a particular subject. @.@ lame i know...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Call me bitter. But lots of people today love to act like they know it all. Not pointing my finger to anybody particular but rather the events happening around me. See, a problem statement came in, and this people would like *eyes roll* talk like they're some kinda wise man or a great leader who have this solution or answer. I would wish that it struck them to do self-reflections and ego-checking first XD. To avoid confusion, they're not any yall know I guess. They're people with face I recognice but name unknown, so it's not anyone of yall, chill~ ^^

Coming to this topic, I do realise from my observ (haha I'm a self-indulging observer/questioner, I'm goin to the point of Mr. Know-it-all :P) that people tend to judge the behaviours of other people without really doing a full research. Myself included but that's the past tense already (Sometimes, I doubt it was a past @_@ like right now (?) ).
See, it's like through one's decision or action, we tend to label or brand that person, which is really not a good thing. Circumstances change people. We do not know how one feels when one is carrying out an action.

Human judge with emotion, and rarely with logic.
(A quote from Fullmetal Achemist XD, nicest anime I've seen this year so far)
But good friends do not do that :) we see each other's flaws, yet we appreciate each other for being able to blend with it, and overlook jagged edge over to their flawless edge ^^

Anyway, a break from my 'observations'.
Hmm.. In the near near future, I would definitely write a blog post back in Chi. Then sorta change this blog into a music platform haha... Which the music have lesser mainstream attention ones. Then upload some pix I had taken to share with yall bout my life in the past few weeks/month (Definitely not S.S. pix XD). Oh yeah, I would love to add a music cafe theme to this blog. Yup, cafe, with coffees and evening teas, my fav. With late evening sky and rainy day and night time ^^ that is until I'd learn how to change blog's HTML thingy yet. Haha.

Exams coming. Try hard. If it stuck, try harder :)
Strive together...

Rush

2010-02-22T05:22:00.003+08:00

Life is always a rush.
Time is either chasing us, or we chase it.

Yet, I have to constantly remind myself to slow down and observe my surroundings, so that I do not miss anything beautiful passes by.
Some of my decisions are painful, so as the mistakes. But if that is it, then that's an injury that I will bear.
CNY comes to an end. School starts again.
So, I'll need to pack my suitcase now, and continue travelling.
Would you be a friend, who would join me in a bus, or follow into a limousin?

Insomnia 101

2010-02-16T02:39:00.006+08:00

Hmm.. Lesser time of emo-ness from me and lets
Have some laughs for now.
Here's what I stumbled on Youtube today as I can't sleep right now... Kinda insomnia I guess...
So this is one of the vids that makes me laugh like $hht XD XD XD

Warning: Strictly for people who can't stand rude/vulgar (it's not porn =.=, literally :P) things. Not recommended for good boys & girls. You know who you are if you can take this in.
The offensive-less would be the last two.
While the funniest (ever!) part is at 3:30 for vid #2
BE WARNED for the first two!

Speechless

2010-02-14T02:20:00.003+08:00

Gaga's version

My 'cover' rendition; thanks Gaga for your soulful song
I can't believe
what we've reached today
Last time it was okay...
Once again you threw your arms up
Honey, you gave up- you gave up

I can't believe how you looked at us
With your Hepburn starry loook
And after it's through
And I won't be there
Do you think I can turn my eyes all bliiind..?!

Must you walk through all the nails?
Are your speeches' just a show?

****************
So I'll never talk again
Oh gal you've left me speechless
There's no point to argue
I'm speechless
So I'll never talk again
Oh gal you left me speechless
You left me speechless
So speechless
****************

I can't believe how you slurred at me
With your insane swollen eyes
You popped my sanity
All my bubbled dreams, fantassy...

I can't believe how you replied us
With your broken spirit wail
If he gets you this time
And I'll swear I'll do a criiime...

I know it's damn complicated
But if you could just open your heart awhile
Let our voices in
Because your love is blind it is a deformed soul

****************
So I'll never talk again
Oh gal you've left me speechless
There's no point to argue
I'm speechless
So I'll never talk again
Oh gal you left me speechless
You left me speechless
So speechless
****************

And after all the drinks and trips that we've been through
You'd still give it away
You still give it away to him
And after all the peace that we have been into
You still give them away
You still give them away

Oh I promise you
That I'll never argue again
I'll never voice again
I'll leave here in a day
This I promise you

Ho-o-o-ow?
Ho-o-o-ow?
I'm speechless...

One Day...

2010-02-13T21:07:00.002+08:00

Some day, I'll leave this place...

And never come back until I have the courage to do so...

In life, we have to depart eventually.

All that hinders is time.

Wishing all of you spaces and time to enrich your journey of self-discovery :)

Happy New Year and Happy Valentine's Day ^^

Melaka IS The New KL

2010-02-06T15:18:00.009+08:00

Hmm... Monday's Grammy performance by Lady Gaga, P!nk and the MJ tribute are amazing! But Beyonce won 6, 6!!!?? What the... =.=

...Then Friday: Jusco/Aeon is finally OPEN!!!!! Woohoo!
And it is grand/beautiful/cool/nice/out-of-Melaka, anything- its *thumbs up*!

Its BIGGER BETTER GRANDER CHEAPER & COOLER than KL's Mid Valley, The Curve, Times Square etc or even our Dataran, those are HISTORY!
It took quite some time to find the parking since it's the opening day, and it took a longer time to get out of the compound...

But-
1 You can find practically almost every brand of clothing lines & food outlets
2 The complex's so big you can spend big time inside there
3 It seems there's gonna be a cineplex opening there soon, so finger crossed^^
4 The interior design is not bad, nice~ & there's plaenty of free food samplings :P
5 It's fresh and BIG, you might thought that you're in KL now...only BETTER than that place
6 Since it's sales now its CHEAP
7 Its modern and world-class
8 It is near my house...woohoo!

But-
Every weekend there will have traffic jams jams & jams around Bachang area now T.T

But-
It's Jusco/Aeon!

So-
Sorry for all of you out there not in Melaka, hahahaah... (lame I know)
Don't miss the spot, head there the next time you come there, not your home first XD
Finalized my CNY clothes shopping there- cheers~

This is not exactly how spacious the place is...you gotta check it out yourself haha...

There's this The Garden on the top of this complex. Even though there's plenty of parking spaces, they are still not sufficient enough foe hardcore shoppers like us...

I went into the bathroom and guess what? The cubicles are damn spacious.
And there are this these small notice board with drawn dummies either squatting or sitting on a toilet bowl, showing what type of toilet bowl is behind that door. Can't take its pic cuz it'll make me awkward XD Who actually would take pic inside the bathroom? ;p

Sick~

2010-02-02T21:20:00.003+08:00

Every year, there would be a day or two for me where I'll get sick.
It ain't a big problem, usually my sickness are severe headache/fever, quite minor but since I can't concentrate in class, why continue them =.=

So this morning I woke up with a big headache. After finishing my coffee and biscuit, I took a Panadol. Which is where this nightmare starts.

As usual, I went to SKE for early study/finishing leftover homework before heading to school at 7.25am.
But my headache grew more severe that a monk who spot me lying down for a moment asked me whether I am okay. "Don't stress yourself if you can't..." he said with a nod and a smile.
I should have taken his words.

This is the first time since primary school that I vomit in school. Luckily not in the class this time.
There's two or three moments where I almost puke. Just can't stand it. After that I just went in to the toilet after done some explaination to Mr CYL on the way, then I puked in the toilet- 4 times!
And yeah, it's the first time I stuck my fingers into my mouth and *bluuueek*

Felt refreshed after that, finally can breathe properly. But still kinda dizzy > Head home.

Then slept from 11am till 5pm. And I'm still sleepy now. (Amazing, I can still type quite fast now)
Didn't eat anything, not lunch nor dinner. Had some warm Ribena only (cuz it has glucose, I guess), and kiam seng di to hold that stomach from puking again.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

And oh yeah, I'm sick of study too.
All the teachers are great. But I just can't handle the speed.
Let's use the teachers as mother feeding the kids for example.

Mr. Chin is very dedicated. No, too dedicated.
He's like feeding you, but without concern whether you have chewed the food and swallow it, he then feeds you again and again. My mouth's gonna burst anytime soon.

Mr. Lai is like feeding you, but if you're too slow to swallow your food, he'll throw away the food on the spoon and proceed to another one. He's darn punctual by the way. I haven't even digest the previous lessonand then I have to proceed again T.T

Mr. Chu, hmm what can I say~ At least I'm following the lesson this time compared to last year, but yawn~

Mr. Mani's & Pn. Nur Jannah's lesson: Finally I can gasp for air. That's why I'm always looking forward to their periods =P

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
But the problem still lies on me- Am I gonna work my arse this time, or not? We'll see.

PS/ Gonna post my blog in English until MUET's done.

Have a nice day :)

The Best

2010-01-31T22:06:00.004+08:00

Girls...

... probably the most fascinating species.

Mentally & spiritually, they can be the most complex mathematical paradox to be solved yet.

Yet they are so unique, you would not want to explore them.
Because they are always full of surprises. Sometimes, more surprising than the previous ones.

All the things they have done since history: Motherhood, sacrifices and love, is far more important than stupid sciences ever invented. They are the ones who added colour to this world. Men merely sketched it.

Females are often victimised. People branded them as weak, unintelligent, usable, witch, gullible Eve.
I could not understand this statement.
Because every weep they shed, they shed their colour. Each new skin more vibrant, more hue than the previous one.
And if they continue to shed, they will emerge as more powerful, independent and reliable.

And all they've done, is always beautiful.
In this liberal era, one of the best event to witness, is the rise of the female. And I'm glad that I can witness it.

Raise a glass for all the great mothers, sisters, lovers and friends in this world ^^

Prelude To A Kiss

2010-01-29T14:48:00.003+08:00

音乐～
不仅推动生命...

今天上了Youtube点击当时 MTV Hope For Haiti Now 慈善演唱／众星募捐活动的录影，听了我最爱的洋星 Alicia Keys、 Shakira 等的演出。平时听过一些歌曲挺少感受到任何心灵动摇。

一首要算得上是好歌的，不仅是要让人听得自在，而且须让听者感受到那神情的 emotion，raw的。不是那种现在的普通歌手把声线刻意拉长、深沉化、鼻音化去，而必把自己的独特歌唱、飙音法，再加自己的元素，把自己心灵给驻入进去，加上深义的个词，到时是眼泪、笑容、冤恨都能让听者不自禁泄出。

听了 "Prelude To A Kiss"，
一股热血涌了心上。歌手唱得没错：

Sometimes I feel so heavy hearted... but I can't explain cuz I'm so guarded
每个人都有难言处，大事除去了一些芝麻事还是会缠上来，心头的结石不是都能解下的

But that's a lonely road to travel
身边的亲友都有自己的生活，他们会离开－依赖是暂时的。
and a heavy load to bear

And it's a long, long way to heaven... but I gotta get there...
顽强的意志会继续推动你...但在这长途－

Can you send an angel.....?
我们总会需要一些依靠，放慢脚步，接着扶手攀延，接受指导
Can you send me an angel...... to guide me

我曾读过：
命运里有个蜗牛会走在你面前，你不能越过它。
一天，由于长时累积的繁琐。你会踢它、催它走快点。
它还是会一样走得很慢。
但，如果你也放慢脚步－你会看见你身旁的不再是钢骨森林，而是一个世外幽谷。

我也该放慢脚步了，仔细观察身边的景物；不是评论它是否一首好歌，反而聆听生命的佳曲。
音乐，是不呼吸的生命、是精神的水源。

40

2010-01-28T05:56:00.003+08:00

This is my 40th post.

I do not know why 40 sounds precious to me, but I seem to be attracted by its meaning, figure out yourself.

I never realise I enjoy blogging so much. I 'became' a music critic, movie reviewer, traveller, and an emotional writer. So many things I wish to share and there are also a few things I regretted sharing (I do not know that many people can actually know this place and access it).

But every joy of sharing is my push to be a better person; and every mistake I made will be another push for my adulthood.

Thanks to all my blogger friends/friends for the encouragements and care, I appreciate them :)

May everyone be well.

面具

2010-01-24T17:35:00.004+08:00

人其实没改变，我们只不过连续地换上不同的面具罢了。
有些华丽可人；一些无情狰狞。

Worst Saturday

2010-01-23T16:05:00.004+08:00

Those who live in the past can not move on.

Those who are consumed by anger will only crumble.

There is no point lingering back.

西北西北忙

2010-01-19T17:00:00.002+08:00

最近会很西北西北忙 T.T ...

第一，一生中第一次做副班长...lame下...所以又要做回奶爸了...

过后，也是一生中第一次参加运动会，而且是800＆400竞跑... 很久没跑步了，听说stamina不够好和忍受不了热会晕（当场晕＠.＠），真的发生在我身上就西北下衰，可以去死算了。

考试... 哇劳，不用讲咯全部及格就是真的有神明了。

English Nite... 也是第一次没错的话，买票吧哈哈... 如果你要看我跳舞的话 XD 我和几位朋友在为班上的表演（话剧）操刀剧本，还蛮搞笑的。但老师既然把我们中六的表演都弄成比赛，就不方便透露更多了...

哦给，要做功课了 BB ^^

Lose Yourself

2010-01-16T18:32:00.001+08:00

我失控了...今早终于爆发了!
还挺舒服的...
后天开始又会是个忙碌的一周...
加把劲吧！

Prospekt March

2010-01-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

开学两个星期了，但每天都迫不及待地等待着周末来临哈哈...

大家开学后的生涯都过得充实吗＾＾？

忽然想起了今年将是我最后一年的中学生涯，还有点不舍，降快就有这感觉了。中六还蛮enjoy的，辛苦倒辛苦，但累积起来的全新体验的确获益不浅。我不想浪费这即将结束的一字辈生活，虽然苦辣多于甜，其实也都是再帮我铺个前路...

我小学生涯并不怎么快乐，常被羞辱欺负。小时也傻里傻气的不会还架什么的，就是那种阿呆瓜给人玩的。说实在的，我也挺是怪罪我身旁的长辈没什么教导我该如何处人处事，只会把令伯关在房里咬书嚼字，每天书、书、书、书、书、书、书的，我几乎没有生活。没了大人和模范的指引教导，我越走就越迷失、困扰、越疑惑... 讲真的不能怪他们因为那时我真的也是西北傻一下的咯...

到了中学就bright一点了，有了个模糊的方向。但由于自幼鲜少与人沟通和了解世务，我和别人产生了不少摩擦、误会。人气直滑T_T...那时也是很多约束，这个不敢、那个迟疑，很noob下的哈哈...

但中三开始就有很大气色，过后也蛮enjoy...
中六呢辛苦归辛苦，但所看过、体验的让我更充实，自由里也有限制，欢笑中亦有苦处。

Hmm... 在这想告诉小我一辈的朋友们多把握你们这短暂的青春，关爱亲友。对有兴趣的就去闯闯吧；看开点（这点我对一些人还存有芥蒂无法做到哈哈）；表太叛逆...

这是我最后的中学生涯... 希望它不是完美的句号，但会是个漂亮的豆号。

谢谢你朋友们 :)

2010... 这就是Prospekt March... 自历史，向未来看齐。

School Days...again!

2010-01-10T01:11:00.003+08:00

School sucks... What else can I say? =.=~

I'm fine with the amount of homework loads, but to listen to Mr. T*rtl* using his damn high-pitch voice/noise and nag and nag and nag every 7.25am (which for me is the perfect time to start my day) is sibeh sibeh dulan ooohh.. Nabeh~ wanna slap his cb face d keep insulting all the students' parents! Diao ni chipette dong la yao shyoe kia!

Spoilt my mood for the first week.

And for everyone's sake T.T Alex is back as discipline MASTER!! Arrgghh..
F6 need to do R&D AND PRESENT REPORT AGAIN (!!!?), this is for Kementerian: o0o

Bless GBS ~

2009 Refections + 2010 Resolutions

2010-01-02T12:40:00.002+08:00

<2009>

JAN : I got my first ever job at The Store as a temporary clothes seller :)
FEB : I pass my car license to drive... Thanks to uncle Robert. PS/ those interested to
learndriving can obtain his HP no. from me...
MAR : National Service (20/03)
APR : (Still) National Service...
MAY : Escape! from NS + Preparing for F6
JUN : F6 starts for me
JUL : Bored of school life (literally)
AUG : School break :D
SEP : School starts x_x
OCT : I'm 18 ^^
NOV : Holiday... + Result shits...
DEC : Secrets~

<2010>

1- For my own sake pleeaseeeee study HARD! I wanna be myself again
2- Take care of my health & wealth
3- Grab the chance...
4- Fullfill your dreams :)

_Whats your's?_

Music Review 02

2010-01-02T10:37:00.007+08:00

Year of the Monster
So 2009 was Gaga's year, ignore Beyonce for her 10 nominations, if B wins more than G; Grammy is history.
The Fame has capture our hearts without us noticing. Suddenly underground friend of mine even go 'Muh-muh-muh-muh~'. And the freaky, alien couture/costumes wore by Gaga which is like for a freak show looks OK; what was considered freakish dress & behaviour became a norm for music lover. A much more contemporary and smarter Madonna rises. So yes I'm biased towards her, because I do not see other much more captivating and talented new artiste out there. But does Monster score this time? I HOPE so.
This album is short for roughly 32 minutes, and this may be the disadvantage Gaga will face this year.
Expect a less contemporary feel to this album. There are loads of late 80's + 90's pop beats in it packed with loads of bizarre lyrics [He ate my heart then he ate my brain...]. Unlike other pop stars, you might need a thinking cap on to know what she's singing about, as this is her strongest link: procuring smart lyrics.
I'm also shocked, very shocked to found out Gaga's softer, vulnerable point here, which can be her weakest link. We get used to her being a rather eccentric feminist- wild and flamboyant who constantly explore art unorthodoxly, that we forgotten that she is much a human like we do, so that when you listen to Telephone carefully, a duet with Beyonce, you'll see a real woman instead of a woman with a multiple mask (poker face) on.
Yet with her (is this her first?) ballad Speechless, we get to know her more personally: emotional yet bold; you will love her more. Monster is quite different from Fame. And I believe with her presence, pop in the future may gain much more respect. Kudos for a wonderful woman who redefines and reinvents.
★★★☆

Be Open & Patience for Freedom

We knew Keys for mostly her soft ballads and some memorable uptempos. That is when her music style is still much rooted to R&B with heavy piano use, smooth soul and with vulnerable, yearning words that praises love as well as the sorrow love has caused.

In this album, I'm surprised by Keys' musical transition towards a favour for more hip-hop beats (neo-soul), added with much more of a sunny feel to it compared to her previous albums, which has this feeling of late night jazz/soul club.

Well this is not a bad thing at all because one can't help to compare Freedom to As I Am; while Keys only just realeased AIA slightly more than two years ago, one would expect a longer hiatus from an artiste to search for a new musical direction. AIA was not that bad, only thing is that it goes down and down towards the end of the album while only the first half of the album is more notable. So, AIA comes up more as a nap time option.

If you are familiar to urban music espcially soul ones, you will enjoy it. Freedom was quite sunny despite the amount of downtempo songs is more than that of up- and midtempos. You'll get more hip-hop beats (Unthinkable (I'm Ready)) packed with helps from vintage keyboards.

According to Keys, this album is about overcoming depression. I do not agree 100% but I do appreciate its effort.

Despite great music numbers, the lyrics fulled with metaphores can be a cliche, and may sound a little bland [...I'm gonna make it without you/Say you love me and put it in a love song...] at times; however some lyrics can be catchy, piercing and memorable [This king-size sheets need more than just a queen]. Its weakest link still lies on the songs arrangements, a reocurring mistake from AIA; as well as some of the beats of certain songs seem to repeat itself in other track like Doesn't Mean Anything with Through It All.

Still, this album leaves me with good impression: it may not be the finest, strongest work from Keys, but music lover shall love this new direction. All you need is to be open for the music to flow in and have the patience to have it crawl into your heart

★★★☆

2010 !

2010-01-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

Hi my friends & readers ^^
For this new start on a new decade I hereby sincerely wishing you a peaceful year... And to my friends, please do accept my gratitude for all those joys and lessons you brought me; and also apologies for any hurtful gesture/words I done...

In short...
Happy 2010!

XMas & The Element of Freedom

2009-12-25T02:28:00.004+08:00

It's Christmas today... Morning everyone...haha...

I've just spent a meaningful evening with my sis & mum, brought two polo T's & a pair of new shoes which broke my spending record of RM99.90 hehe... Overall, I spent more than RM 200 today~ Goin to pokai d...

Well we walk around DP & MP, shop & window shopped... Having a good time... I initially wanted to went out with one of my best friend then pao tang d T.T So sorry for her... Goin to make it up for her the next time... :)

Just as I started to drifted into the dark side of myself, mum & sis used to unintentionally reminds me of who I am... Family ^^

On the other hand, I would like you to ponder:

What is the core of freedom? Its essense+anatomy+truth?

What love really makes you feel? When its fragrance and torns ravage you apart yet it feels holy and real good? How would you put into a piece of art if you are an artist?

Would you achieve freedom if you attain a love that is true; that is one and only?

That's what I'm gonna find out :) from my favourite female artiste of all time...

Wait for my review soon :p

& have a good time this XMas & holiday ^^v

Hopelesshagen...

2009-12-24T13:01:00.003+08:00

Pups!

2009-12-24T10:54:00.007+08:00

Hmm.. For those of you who were wondering what I’m doing this holiday… These are some excerpts…

Ok this is my favourite part: My uncle whose pet dog just passed away last month grieved over this dog, as this dog is like a second child to him since my uncle doesn’t have any child on his own. RIP… He’s a wonderful dog… He listens to instructions and loves to get cuddled…
Then a few days later, my uncle stumbled upon a newborn pup along the street, which is still round and barely able to bark. And it is a… LABRADOR RETRIEVER! :D And its name is Pudding, a reference to its vanilla & cappuccino-foam fur colour…
PS/ My favourite breed of dog is a Labrador… ;)

Yada yada yada… Leaa than one month has passed, and he grew soooooo much… 

Although he’s my uncle’s pet I still adore him as though its mine haha… Still, since his only a one or two months old, his teeth are growing and he loves to bite lol which is really irritating… Haha

And here this two pups they are found around the street :) Initially there are three but my grandad dumped one away...

They were constantly locked up because some fuuucking asshole bastards dog hunters armed with rifle currently roam around Bkt. Cina area, killing all stray dogs...

Well I hope they can be safe and happy ^^

Start Again 一个新的开始

2009-12-19T03:51:00.004+08:00

"黑色笑靥掉了
雪白眼泪掉了
该出现的所有表情瞬间掉了
瞳孔没有颜色结了冰的长河
回忆是最可怕的敌人

故事情节掉了
主角对白掉了
该属于剧中的对角戏也掉了
胸口没有快乐断了翅的白鸽
不枯萎的藉口全掉了 "

悲哀的时期...已经过去

因为你-我再次微笑
你-不仅给了我勇气
你-提醒我自己
是一个更好的人

明天又是一个新的开始
我会回来
我向你保证
一个幸福的日子
如果没有幸福，那么我们共同在这条道路上成长 ^^
直到我们找到幸福

Record Reports 01

2009-12-19T01:04:00.001+08:00

Reading some of the music or movie reviews makes me wanna do some for my own too haha...

I recently bought some pirated music albums as usual haha... And I still have the habit of overlook the Chinese ones because its image to me is still like very bubblegum, silly, teenpop. But I do appreciate talents like A'Mei (or Amite =.=), Yoga Lin, Mayday etc. who are quite original in some ways. Anyway, in case you are looking for some Eng albums to listen to or just simply to read for fun here's what I evaluated. XD

Michael Bublé ~ Crazy Love

♫ ♫ ♫ ♪

For non-pop lovers,this might be just a treat for you. Michael is a jazz singer born with natural, soothing voice. This is the first time I fully embraced jazz/soul music. So I might still not able to appreciate most of the tracks but if you just try to pay attention to the despite stereotyped jazz rythms and beats you might find it pleasent. This might not be the breakthrough for jazz music in this new age nor Buble tried to revolutionise this genre. Still tracks like the commanding Cry Me A River, Georgia In My Mind by the late Ray Charles, You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You and lead single Haven't Met You Yet etc will grab your attention. Perfect for a night time & late noon listening.

Rihanna ~ Rated R

♫ ♫ ♪

Honestly, I like Ri cuz mainly of her hairdo which makes her looks hot haha but despite her looks I did not find her singing good nor she can dance. It's all about her as a fashion (hair) icon and as a sex animal. The cover tells it all: emo and dark. While I do not detest emo and I enjoy occasional dark themes this album may be just a little too irritating at first listen. For me, it's fine to be emo and angry and melancholy, I appreciate that but if you whine too much and most of the lyrics are rather silly except for Russian Roulette, Firebomb and Te Amo, it will feel more like a messed-up album aimed for whining and pissing off which is irritating. I like her being "darker, edgier and angry". But I can't keep myself from comparing this to Good Girl Gone Bad. You can tell she wants more hardcore music in it to bring out the emotion but to get pop and R&B to do this is not much of good effort with tracks like Stupid In Love is just quite plain stupid, she should try crunk. Although some songs are really catchy...

Coldplay ~ Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

Ok from this segment on its bout my favourite albums of 2008. Coldplay produces some of the great songs for this decade which are memorable and they gain respect from all music lovers. The Latin title meaning 'Long Live Life' sums up what the tracks' themes are. You can expect everyday life written into this album but somehow 'epic-ised' like Viva La Vida, Cemeteries of London etc. This is also the first time I fully embraced alternative music, which though compared to jazz I have more exposure to. It takes time to like this album because most alternative music tends to have the focus more on the music rather than its singing ie you hear the music plays louder the volume of the vocals kinda low; so you might get drifted away from focusing on the tracks. However in the end it pleases the ears and somehow if you open up, the music will fill into you and you will get drifted to a world of music fantasy. Still, if you want to try listen to alternative rock music, I suggest A Rush of Blood to the Head as a starter; as this is a departure from Coldplay's previos efforts where their music matures beyond anyone else, in my opinion.

Alicia Keys ~ As I Am

♫ ♫ ♫ ♪

Most of the artiste from this decade usually tends to switch their music genre into more of pop-friendly or mainstream. But Keys is not one of them, in fact I feel that she keeps venture into the very core of R&B/soul and it somehows manage to appeal the mainstream. Well I can't say this is her best effort but a great deal of her matures and her music gets more classy than ever. Tracks like The Thing About Love, Lesson Learned may not appeals immediately to you but if you give this a more urban feel album a try you may like it. It bore at times because this urban music limits they way the instrument brings itself but this makes me crave for more of Alicia as for Coldplay.

An End

2009-11-20T15:29:00.003+08:00

Well, the very first reason I chose F6 is that I was afraid of regretting over the wrong course if I ever chose to enrol in college. And it proves to be safe because now I realised Science stream is not my thing...

Then I wanna live another last 1 and 1/2 years of school life. Cuz I took note of what the working adults said: " School life is the best you will ever cherish in life... " Okay... I have a great time and fun in L6S2... Thanks to everyone... And the best part is to see people change in front you while you get beckoned at the same time... Example: 25% of L6S2 mates this year have caught up in a relationship... Actually more than 25% haha... And a lot of us kinda like...hmm change...

And I must admit this is a needle-fine point in my life as this year can be considered as my darkest year of all... But I changed- if not for the good =p

So, today is the last day of school... A new year will embark on us soon... All we can do now is hope for more love and peace... :)

Happy holidayzzzzzz!

Rush

2009-11-16T21:15:00.003+08:00

U gotta help me out... I'm all screwed last niiite ~

Spare me a freakin fuucking life now don't blame me...

T.T

2009-11-13T13:37:00.002+08:00

I really fucked up today...
I wasted my chance to go KL today... T.T
May be the last time we went out as a class...
ARRRGHHHH!!!
________________________________

Yesterday my friends and I went out to watch 2012 from 9.40pm till 12.20am haha..then we went out for some mamak till 2 am something..
I've never been that late to go home myself before haha.. Anyway I enjoy ytd thanks guys...

20 Years of Changes

2009-11-10T19:29:00.004+08:00

1989...
A significant year for communism around the world...

In Beijing, June 4th, hundreds or thousands of protestors, peaceful ones and are mostly young university students were killed by armed military forces...

Communism in China never fade its influence even after the incident but nurtures into a powerful force itself...

But in Berlin, capital of Germany or simply the whole Germany and continent Europe itself; celebrates the fall of Communism.

I dunno what's so attractive about this event is to me...

Maybe I kinda like relate it to China, the hometown for all Chi... I was thinking what might happened there if Communism vapourised like what will hapen in Soviet...

For me, it symbolises Freedom. Detachment from an unruly system. Emancipation. Rights. Anything apart from communism.

I really detest communism. So called je sama rata or equal rights. Bullshit!

The people would work as labour while the officials would be laying in their office, convincing the people that labour is something to be proud of... Covering the press cuz its too negative for the people to know like as though they are babies who needed to be told what to do... Whatever there are tonnes of stories that make me sick! Fking sick!

Enough of my whining haha...
All I wanna say is I hope for Germany and any other nations which faced losses and grief and sufferings before with a better future with the change of politics.

:) Nevertheless the history have to be put down and recovery must be made...

For the world...

This Is It (?)

2009-11-10T19:16:00.004+08:00

So...

Pengajian Am : 45
Chemistry : 30
Maths : 24
Physics : 42

Thats my results haha... Well the CGPA is 1.42
The probability of me dropping class (for the first time of my life) = 0.75, a fat chance...

So is this the end? end...? end...? end...?

Of course no... Anyway hey M, thank you for your encouragements today it really helps me...

Come & Go

2009-11-04T23:47:00.005+08:00

Firstly..

Exam = Over!!!!

But still, in Form 6, there won't be any time for relaxation...
Straightly after school that Friday, I walked myself to Popular to buy a Math exercise book and some materials. Irony rite? Near exam's end then only had I started to revise blah blah...
Today went back to school and got my Chemistry paper at the first period. I know I won't do well this time but I didn't expect it to FAIL! Which I'm 100% sure that it will happen to my Maths paper too..
Haha so I'm like WTFH! Nevermind... I'm not really attached to results but still it almost spoil my whole mood for that day =p
Cuz I'm just too overconfident that I'm good in it so I emphasised more on Physics than Chem. But one fact I know for sure that I won't pass in Phy as well XD

Well shit the exam lah... I got much more things to focus here...
_____________________________________________

Frustration set aside.
My friends and I are gonna have a (rather silly) F6 camp this Saturday but the factor that makes this camp exciting (not silly) is that we gotta create some performance(s).
And Imma helping one of my friend **suspence to all GBSes who got no idea yet, this gonna be one big surprise XD**
to do a performance for the opening act. And it's a pop-dance song, very uptempo and popular one... And we are figuring how to blend in to that song, copycat its dance on it and to move with its vibe & the costume XDXD & the stage's effect.
I ain't spilling no more here haha u gotta see it. If the opening all went well it will be one of GBS's most memorable moment after Koku Day Michael Jackson danceoff.

So...hope that it will all went well.. *o*
__________________________________________________

I'll let yall know how's my result in the next post ba... Haha just to see how miserable one shit could be.

Bye

Reform

2009-10-19T22:52:00.004+08:00

Less than a week and I'll turn 18.

18 : Freedom to consume alcohol & cigars @ pubs =p
No more juvy records if I'd broken a law, I'm considered a young adult now.. :(

But the most important thing is to burn some bridges and to build new ones

That's the important, painful part.
No more virtual fantasies, just vivid realities.

I will have to build my own path. No helps (perhaps some =p). No obstructions should inflate me.

Time to find my true soul.

No more dramas, tired of them, not as fun as we've watched on TV.

It's all about the grey future.
Picking up the past tenses and find its clues, or if could, repair them.

Wondering whether I should be a realist or a hopeful? Hmm.. that is yet to be decided..

THIS IS IT

Finally, a time to fully grow up.

Goodbye to childhood and teenagehood. They shall turn into bitter dust and dirt now.

Hello to future. Dark or light. I shall lay the road.

Release the fishes in the aquarium. Let them be free, and lead me.

Look at the doves. Listen to their songs.

I will be free. Once I found my way.

Bitter Heart: " Change "

2009-10-17T21:40:00.006+08:00

Ok, everyone of my age might all blog about how miserable they felt cuz exam is near and we are still laying our butt on the couch...yeah...

But- I just wanna YEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL...!!!!

K, I ain't denying the fact that I didn't done anything at all to catch up... I did revised- but it is not sufficient for a Form 6 syllabus...

Alright I'll stop here so I can get back to those boring turd books. One thing for sure is that I ain't gonna take any course concerning science stream for my tertiary study in the future... Man, science is just really reeeaally not my stuff. Now I understand why those who take science career usually be regarede as nerd/geeks cuz these things are just so damn boring; I personally don't understand why people would find calculating how much force exerts on a falling/levelating object interesting @ how some salt/base/acid react by observing stupid colour changes etc things I dunno what I'm talking now and blah blah blah...

You can see why only people who took arts stream can become politicians or artists dll which for me is a much more interesting subject...

Haiz...I dunno...

Change is needed for me and reform must be implemented...

Anti-Trtl!

2009-10-02T14:24:00.006+08:00

Aggressive use of defamotories and some strong languages. Readers' discretion adviced.

Hmm.. so this week my friends and I had colloquium session in Tuesday (MUET) and Thursday (PA) respectively..

Almost all when well.. ALMOST..

So on Tues, we had to prepare our slide show early before the classes start. So LC, LZ, ML, E went to the hall first, and i went back to my classroom to pick up LC's grammar book and my papers. I didn't wear my stupid necktie cuz the feeling of a strangling tie on my neck makes me more nervous than ever. And after that I'm on my way to the hall before *oh-snap* I stumbled on dear discipline master of my school, Mr. T*rtl*..

And I turned another direction just to avoid that bitter, moody, last-nite-his-wife-refused-to-have-sex-with-him looking old fraud. And so unlucky I am, he saw me and tell one of his kai-kia and call me back.

So there I am just going to explain myself and that animal snapped:

(with that fking irritating high-pitch-amplitude-nasal)

" What is more important? "

-" Sir, I was ju..."

" (higher nasal) What is more important you tell me."

(and I'm trying to catch what he said there before he exploded with that cb style voice)
(try pinch your nose and repeat this sentense and you'll know why it is so damn irritating)

" Which one more important? Lining up or your stupid colloquium? And where is your necktie? What form are you? Lower Six isit? Why didn't you wear your necktie? "

" My necktie with my friend now I.. "

"I DON'T CARE! YOU SHOULD __________ AND _________..."

and there Master Wuguay goes and using his stinking butthole keep defecating his crap and blah X3.. For anyone who doesn't know him, he's that type of butthole mouth that refuses to let people explain themselves and pour his fustration out like an old fuggly hag who just happened to have his/her period back again plus have a high degree of menopause. And that mcb kia ended the conversation with

" I don't care, if you don't have a necktie go buy now! " Stupid peephole..I just said my tie's with my friend. See, this dickhead don't listen to others. All he knows is he's angry cuz his wife rejected him and now he need me to shit out his fuss-tration..

The worst part is not that he's scolding me in front of the students.. In the end he threw my (my friend's) book and papers on the ground, something I pantang!!!PANTANG, you orang pantat!!! I won't even allow other people to cross over my book moreover throwing it onto the floor?!

%$#&^$#^$% you!!!

So I'm here to present the inauguration of o0o Mt. T*rtl* as the most idiotic, bastardish, bitchiest, whorish, trampiest, vampiest, trashiest, son-of-a-bitchiest, jackasshole of all time! From now onwards, I lost every single fabric strand of respect on him - forever..o0o nah!

Thx ^^ to Huan De's bro for telling PZS to pick them up before doggish prefects go pick my things up..

By the way the colloquium were ok.. Nice job guys..
Sorry for not including that colloquium and daily life part in this post.. But I hope that every single GB'es or T*rtl* haters might enjoy some trashing of 'injustice' in this school..XD o0o

MTV Video Music Awards 2009

2009-09-22T00:09:00.004+08:00

Honetly, who cares about boring, stupid Emmy, Academy blah blah awards. To me, MTV'S Awards shows always rox..

So, I finally caught the VMA set in New York that Saturday with much anticipation..and it never failed to disappoint..
The show started with Madonna, Queen of Pop, giving an approx 8-mins speech about MJ..(this award show is also a tribute to Michael)..and it almost moved me to tears man..even Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boys is closing his eyes mourning, Jimmy Fallon looked teary eyed..
Here's what Madonna said:

' ... We went out a few more times together, and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then the witch hunt began, and it seemed like one negative story after another was coming out about Michael ... I know what it’s like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel like your voice can never be heard.
But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight.
...When Michael died ... All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature who had once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all passing judgement. Most of us had turned our backs on him. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and on stage and I thought, “my God, he was so unique, so original, so rare, and there will never be anyone like him again. He was a king.”
... I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age nine and four, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There’s a whole lot of crotch grabbing and moon walking going on in my house. And, it seems like a whole new generation of kids have discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is right now he is smiling about this.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king. '

Ya, I know, to some of you MJ is weird etc..whatever..just beat it..

Then, after some dance tribute of MJ's songs, the one I'm waitin for: Janet's tribute to MJ.
The Jackson's have always fascinated me, moreover the bro-sis team collab on 'Scream'.

- Janet's performance on 3:23 - And it is *muax* fantastic..almost made my eyes wet again when I watched Janet touching almost-similiar dance with MJ in the background... Good job, Damita..

Anyway, there's also that jackass dickhead Kanye dissing our dear Taylor Swift. I jz wanna stuck my middle finger onto his damn pussy mouth, such a fking jerk...

Then there's all those performances.. Great ones, by Beyonce (who's gonna perform here at KL on my B*day :) unless PAS Youth chases her away -again- ), fridgin weird but cool Lady Gaga, my favourite P!nk etc.. It's the ladies nite...

Back to reality, there's tonnes- I said it, tonnes of works to do and to pass up / present after sch re-opens.

Damn, I hate my sch, wish it could get burned down...

So, that's it, catch MTV VMA 2009, it's repeating on Channel 713...

bb..

In the Dark Corner of Life

2009-09-17T22:16:00.005+08:00

NOTE: Graphics with dark, disturbing element. Viewers' discretion is advised.

I just browsed through the Internet and found an article about Cultural Revolution in 70's China. One site liked to another and I found these pictures that have a profound impact on me. We used to think that our life is like u-gotta-point-ur-mid-finger-to-it and some who doesn't understand our situation when we're down will give advices/encouragements/councils etc to bring us back to the track, and we'll go like-I-care-whatcha-said. Still, our situations are not actually the worst of all. There are millions of incidents/tragedies where people being framed on, abused, raped, tortured etc happen everyday.

Chinese during the Cultural Revolution. Brainwashed youngsters, a.k.a. Red Guards who gave themselves to Mao Tse-tung and his government were willing to publicly denounce and ridicule their own parents and teachers as a sign of loyalty to the revolution and leaders.

Survived and liberated Jewish children from Nazi's concentration camp. They were used as experiment subjects on chemical weapon and suffered from starvation.

Prostitution, one of the oldest 'job' in the world, provides pleasure for predators and nightmares for its prey. Millions of women suffered from it, especially when they are trafficked. Yet sex-craved men, sadistic and immoral, continue to make this business grow.

Child prostitution is ever-growing. Young boys and girls whom at a young age had been involved in the sex industry while we are still naive at their age. Uneducated and loved, they have no childhood and never truly see the world as we do.

Human are not much different from animals you see. When we have food, shelter, friends and a life, we are much of a civilized being. But when there is starvation, revolution, wild urges for sex, the thrill to hunt weaker beings, we are much like an animal ourselves.

If you feel some strand of compassionate when you looked at these, please pray for yourself, your family and friends; pray for the deluded to wake up from darkness; and eventually pray for those who are not fortunate enough to join us.

Pray for a better tomorrow...

The Miserable Weekend

2009-09-07T23:31:00.004+08:00

Life last week is like suffocating in a deep water...
With more issues to come up due near future, I will be halting myself from further curricular activities and focus solely on academics and personal developments onwards...

AC came up to me and ask about whether I wanna be the advisor of the next camp this December. Before that, KM and others requested LZ and I to join them to be the advisor too (thanks, I appreciate it). Despite my low curricular posititon and the temptation of getting full marks, I turn it down in the end. My life has more than having to take some silly marks for stupid curricular grades. I felt a littel disheartening to turn down such offer, but there are more things I have to attend. And I seriously do not think my passive personality nowadays would make me a good leader.

That Saturday, LZ, Boy, HY, WJ and I went for the Bulletin Board Competition organised by school's Buddhist Society. Initially, I do not want to join it because of my loads but somehow LZ manage to persuade me to join it and I once again somehow wrote my name as the group leader, which I forgotten why I didn't say no in the first place. -_-lll

But during the holidays I had some stuffs and I forgotten bout that competition and ta-da we are in a rush to complete the whole thing. We had to go to LZ's house to try finish the whole stuff. And after dozens of hard work, we manage to complete the whole thing the next day. I felt damn guilty because it seems that LZ is the one who really contributed, not me. By the way, I lost my temper on Boy (real bad) because it was late night, I had to deliver watermelons to his house but he kept misleading me until I guess like I'd turn numerous rounds aroung Kg. Lapan, my petrol threatens to run out at any moment, my phone credit finished and Boy still have the damn nerve to miscall me when I already told him to call me back. And the next morning where the competition is to be held, he as a committe member woke up near 7am and did not cut the watermelons he promised. Once again I'm totally ****ed up.

In the end, we did not win any prize although we are fairly praised by the judges, the other team from GBS won. Congrats by the way. Their's is really creative, never before seen.

But LZ got so disappointed (so I guess, we really worked our ass off for this competition) so she straightaway walked back to her home without taking anything besides her bag. She is really emo nowadays. I somewhat released my temper on her today because of her emo-ness which I felt real guilty now (again).
And I had to 'destroy' the Bulletin after I get back. The day we make the bulletin is also the day where I destroy it. So it is disheartening (again). I mean, who doesn't wants to win? The only thing more important than winning is the aftermath. Whether we can accept the defeat and move on. Something we might failed to do at times. I guess LZ just can't take it. Both of us went through a difficult times lately. Still, I was pretty pissed when I found out there are two teams in our school that took part. It never occured to me (and I never asked as I thought there are no other competitors from our school that participate), I could've spend more time at home and doing what I SHOULD'VE done. In general, I'm ****ed up (again).

As that Saturday night and Sunday is hell for me again. I slept at 3am that Sat nite on cold, hard floor while trying to be alert to _______________________________________________

So, right now, I just want some rest and hopefully some peace in my mind for the moment.

Nah!

2009-09-03T23:35:00.005+08:00

NOTE: Graphics included, not suitable for minors; only majors will like it.

I shouldn't be blogging actually:

>> with heavy undone curricular activities' projects

>> left-out academically

>> tonnes of P&C matters to attend to

But I am so dissatisfied with my life, so this is to life and my ego- NAH!

Thx for making my life miserable...

Up..

2009-08-28T20:43:00.006+08:00

I hang out with my dear friend, AK that Wednesday to watch 'Up'. Initially, I was supposed to go out with KS and friends for badminton that same day, but my right arm got injured when I played with WX & ZC on that Tuesday. So I opted for the movie. (Thanks for inviting me, guys)

Anyway, I woke up late that day, though luckily I didn't took much of his time to wait for me.

You see, it will be the last time I see him before he will be enrolled in Malaysian Aviation Academy on September 1. So, yeah gonna miss that bear guy..

So, we headed to DP and bought the tickets etc while refusing to let him belanja me. Cuz although I secretly enjoy having 'free lunch', it will make me feel guilty to let people pay for me while I never really belanja back..

Since it is Puasa month, he can't consume any food so we headed near the fountain there and talk about what we've been through especially myself. I told him everything about what's going on lately about me. So, he's the third person to know the complete story after my godsister. And I felt kinda relaxed after that.. Though he is still quite secretive about himself, I wished that he will be okay and his issues will not affect his progress during his days in the pilot school. And I wish him the best.

By the way, Up is a wonderful movie that captures my heart. The storyline is magnificently crafted, the characters vivid with their in-depth potraits and the animation is colourful. Overal, it is the movie that can makes you laugh and wet your eyes at the same time. There's barely a movie that is so interesting and fun nowadays. Gotta watch it if you haven't. It worths for the pennies you gave away.

* Good luck in the pursuing of your dreams, AK.

To The Departed

2009-08-27T22:36:00.021+08:00

I planned to write about MJ yesterday as a 2-months anniversary of his death, but due to a high fever and strict internet curfew from my mum (which I am glad she imposed it), I missed the chance to write it yesterday. Though MJ's birthday is Aug 29, another 1 or 2 days. (30th in our region)

The reason why I would want to write about MJ is because of his amazing contributions to the entertainment world and his influence on millions of people including me.

A few months ago, when you mentioned MJ, it is like you're mentioning a joke. Now that he's dead, suddenly we remember what he used to be like for us. He used to be an idol for us. And still is.

As I grow up listening more to Western music compared to Eastern's, I noticed MJ in an early age and MJ is one word but captivating. His presence on stage is enough to spellbind you, and everytime you saw him even in television, you see the arrival of the greatest music icon you'll ever witness.

When you saw his performances in Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal etc, these performances are to be etched in your mind because they are meant to be modern classics.

Still, when his child molestation accusation worsens, I lose my respect for him and believes completely what the tabloids wrote. By then, I was still young, can't really blame me right (?) But now, those who accused him of that have came out and clear his name, confessing of frauding.
Then there's the incident where he see-saws his son, nicknamed Blanket since, by the balcony in front of the paparazzi. And his 101 bizarre behaviours etc.

Most people are disappointed by his actions including me. He falled as a star and changed into a bunch of crap to us. However, we may had forgotten that he is a human like us, only without a childhood, and always been looked up to. So that when he fell from grace into Wacko, we detested him as we had such high expectations from him. We had forgotten he is just a human like we do.

But lets not forget the joy and excitements he brought to us with his fast-paced singles and his smooth ballads plus all those dance moves that is still legendary today. And his contributions as a humanitarian/philantrophies with his Heal The World Aid.

In the end, he will always be remembered as the greatest icon in the 20th century... Lets raise a glass for all the joy and great times he gave us...and remember only the name Michael Jackson, King of Pop, the Moonwalker.

Lone Wolf

2009-08-22T00:57:00.007+08:00

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

There are some moments where I felt myself so disheartening to continue such a life anymore. In the end, after I conquered that urge, I find myself just another loner you might see casually wandering in a lane, who stares into the cold night, thoughtless... Nobody understand me, or maybe no one can understand me. In this lonely corridor of life, I strive myself into the open world in the form a lone wolf, as this is what I were meant to be...
Life may change but I never want to change, I always wish to retain the light part in me. But if you hold something too tight, it slips away eventually...
Guys, let me go...

Pissed at Myself

2009-08-19T00:20:00.007+08:00

NOTE: Contains profanity terms. Readers' discretion is adviced.
>>

I've just went thru my first exams after never touching it for more than half a year.
And the results suck!! Someone fking shit me please. I really were so not myself nowadays... I lose interest in almost everything... I'm becoming like shit!

Whatever the shit is...no use crying over pooped shits...

Anyway, just had a chat with my dad this morning and he brings up *blah-blah-yada-yada*- whatever...not worth posting another shit that pisses me off. My mind immediatly tunes out the song 'Fa-ke' (pronounced as far-kur), a Chinese song by a new artist who has just released his second album, and its goood XD.
I forgotten his name in English, I'll give yall the link next time...

Anyway, I wish to run away from a life like this. I can't even concentrate on doing simple shitty Maths, and you can't expect me to shitting around and make myself concentrate on stupid F6 shit syllabus. Hope the plan of KS, ST, LC and I and probably others to go revise every Saturday evening may come true...or else I'm so gonna shit red shits the next exam... Looking forward to the holidays where there are spaces for us to breathe from shits again... Except the load of Mr. Mani's homework might makes you think twice that you gonna have a great time this holiday... I like his class, especially everytime he mention about studying overseas, it motivates me to work my fat ass off and achieve my goals- for a short shitting time only... Still, I'm looking forward to make home movies with my friends, I think it's gonna be fun and I hope it somehow releases my stress shits...

I'm becoming neutral lately...I guess today is the second time I almost shed tears this year. You can see how neutral I am now. I almost sobbed because of the show 'Six Children' (channel 301, weekdays 6pm). Maybe it sorta relates our incident with it... It's a good show, watch it if you think you have a lot of time to spend...=p

The song that tunes in my mind now is 'Fix You' by Coldplay, one of my favourite band. It goes:
"Lights will guide you home... And ignites your bones... And I will try to fix you..."
It somehow soothes my shitty temper... O Faith, I need you so much right now...

Sorry if I shitted on your time by having you reading such piece of shit...

Movie Review: Sepet by the late Yasmin Ahmad

2009-08-16T22:39:00.005+08:00

Before Yasmin's death, her movies had generated much publicitites, controversies and mixed reviews from local critics. Among the positives from general audiences, there are also the negatives from conservatives. I never really took notice on her movies until she finally passed away. I had just stumbled upon the movie 'Sepet' from channel 110 in ASTRO. And there is only one word to describe such local movie from our dear country: 'Magnificent'!

Yasmin's movie(s) are examples of revolutionised local movies, in an excellent way. I noticed our local productions other than her's- either Malay or Chinese are simply self-indulging rubbish (a quote taken from Simon Cowell).
The Malay's usually feature stars like Saiful Apek and his Senario gangs. Though I find Senario is quite entertaining when I was young, I soon grew to dislike it, mainly because it barely connects with audiences not of their race are as it starts to be more annoying because they keep acting like they are a little too loony, kinda feels like the Charlie Chaplin's time where they try to make themselves funny, but in this case not. This is not a race-biased statement, I detest mainland China & Taiwan's entertainment too, they act in a similiar way which I find it particularly irritating. The local Chinese try to imitate Taiwan's teen drama where the actress act cute and innocent as though they are sweet young virgins and the guys either too cool or innocent or sweet in a same way, they converse and act too fake and fabricated to be real. Even the family shows start to feel too indecent as more adult content are injected into its content. None of it feels original.

But the movie I watched is so much different from what I had seen before. Aspiring, enlighting, diverse, funny, sarcastic, touching, open and harmonic it is: blend them into a cake mixture and you will have a wonderfully iced cake when you took it off the oven: nice to view, a taste buds' pleasure and nutritious in a way; compose it, and you will have one of the most memorable music you will ever enjoyed that it will win numerous prestigous awards and be preserved as one of the greatest classics of all times. That is my personal opinion, check it out if you never watched it. Buy its DVD if you don't know what more you should buy with your bonus cash because it is worth to be selected as your collection. The film itself has won numerous Best Film awards.

I'll keep the synopsis simple and brief to avoid spilling the juice. As all Malaysians would know (you're not one if you never heard about it), this movie is about a love story sparked when a Chinese boy and a Malay girl fell in love in the same time when they set eyes upon each other. You may wonder: logic please... But love is not logic: it does not formed by equating formula or chemistry, it is naturally sparked when two people, regardless of any differences, have the jodoh / yuan fen...something again never meant to be explained...

And no, both characters, Orked and Jason, does not have a too different family background. Both families and characters are open to the wind of changes and does not keen to be conservative at all. In the movie, you can see Orked's parent having some time for naughty pleasures (not explicit), Jason's parent having usual brawls (in this case, it highlights that women are no longer subjected to male dominance), the Orked's family clad in sarung (there may be another name for it, correct me if I'm wrong) and combing each other's hair in the staircase, Jason having another Chinese girl pregnant and he wrote to Orked confessing his sins, innocently claiming he will leave that girl after she gave birth, in which she left him for good etc. The family, although completely different race and religion, indirectly embraces each other, which I believe that there are some out there who are willing to accept their children to fall in love with someone not their same 'kind'. It gives hope for young chaps like us to feel free to love and not be restricted by senseless norms.

The movie also highlighted some issues, some scenes really intrigued me:
Orked received 5 A's from her exam and were given scholarship to England, Mak Inom expresses her gratitude for it, Kak Yam sarcastically said something like this : " Jason have 7 A's. "
It explores the inclining towards Western cultures of the Malaysian youths. Orked was also criticed heavily from her friend's boyfriend, ridiculing her for dating someone not of her race, which she snaps back with more solid claims. There is also a dilemma of love between different races: Keong, Jason's friends expressed his concern that if Jason ever decided to spend his life with Orked, he will have too change his name, his religion and have his foreskin cut.

'Sepet' also spot spaces for Siamese, Malay and Cantonese songs as the movie is multi-lingial itself, including Nyonya-slang Malay, Cantonese, Hokkien, Malaysian English as well as Malay of course. I never enjoyed a local production so much as you can savour the film as though you are having delicacies from different races altogether... The mixing of different cultures seems more colourful and strong than any other movies had ever made.

There are plenty of funny moments inside, it sort of tackles our selfish norms at the same time, carving out the gap that still exist between races. Yet, it is not heavy and dark like 'Crash'. It gives you the light, soothing feeling that makes you ponder issues at the same time... You would not feel distant from friends of other cultures after you watched it, you would want to get closer more... There are better topics to discuss rather than politics and unhealthy arguements. Yasmin's movie makes you feel like a Malaysian, it is not a movie made to entertain Malays but Malaysians, you will surely feel closer to home even though the ending is in a melancholy tone.
I finally understand why people would say Yasmin is the true 1Malaysian, a statement I could not understand before this.

Guys, if you are racist or discriminant towards a particular sector of people, let go of it. I remembered having bitter and sweet moments during my National Service times, the dark part also exceeds the light one. I became quite a racist after I left, forgetting the wonderful moments I had and the feeling of being someone who does not shy away from others. I almost forgotten the great times I had with friends like Imam, Ajim, Fariz, Syuk, Pratish, Aizat, Ai, Nazi etc. The way we think is quite unusual, sometimes we remember the bad things that are so ugly that they are not worth being kept in the heart. I finally let go of the load and reminisense the good times and it feels light and joyful, those moments are the ones worth cherished. And after I finished the show, it brings back once again the good feeling, I get Yasmin's message clear-
and I wish her the peace she deserves in heaven.

:) + :(

2009-08-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

I finally had my official haircut today since March, where a shaver is the substitute of scissors in that ‘tragic’ 20th March. I came back home, had lunch, rest, then went to the usual hairstylist I would visit, and… *drum-rolling* cut my hair.

You won’t understand how glad am I to have that haircut, especially for those who never undergone National Service. We waited so long for the moment where we can grow our hair back to its original length and have our usual hairstyle. Which NS boy who had his hair shaved on the day they arrived could ever forget that nightmarish lawnmower-like sound of that shaver?
And after constant critics from my friends: ‘Yeeer, your hair ugly/messy/funny lar…’, ‘Go cut your hair lar…’ etc, I realised I totally really need a haircut when I can’t manage my hair with that mousse anymore. A few words to express my feeling: glad, joyful etc.

Hence, I’m so ;D now…

But I were so fed-up for being a treasurer for that Ping Pong Competition, I never learn accounting before T.T and non of the committee replied me >W<
Help~

Human Nature

2009-08-14T14:08:00.001+08:00

There was a rare meteor shower this early morning...

I had the urge to stay up and witness this event- there will not be many oppurtunities for us to experience this event in our lifetime. Yet I chose to wrap myself in bed rather than making stupid mythical wishes on those sprinkles. I unintentionally pondered things that may happen to me in the near future as I tried to force myself to doze off; when I finally managed myself to get a good sleeping position to rest myself, disturbing sequences flashed through my sight almost immediatly. It shocked me up from my short sleep. I can barely felt my feet for minutes from it, there were hot sweats trickling down my neck. Every strand of my courage had been robbed off for that instance, I almost tremble. How long can I live a life like this?

Unlike previous years, I would confide to my godsister or confess to the bronze statue of Siddhata. But as I grow up, I swallow my true feelings and pain so often even from them.

It is not the matter of trust- maybe just a matter of pride or the escalating stubbornness inside me. I swallow my pains from now on, I'm getting better in faking smiles and expressions when I'm in pain. And I think I've done a great job in faking expressions. And I try to remind myself constantly to not to accidentally step into holes leading to hypocracies every time I faked myself; it is like multi-tasking.

I know this is unhealthy and is nothing to be proud of, but I feel better at times- yet sometimes I just want to tell everyone what I've been through. Still, it is pointless, I used to feel worse when I told my friends what I've been through- funny huh?

Anyway, this dream concerns about my father and I. It brings back ugly memories and added to uglier image I had for him. I woke up feeling damn emo.

Thanks to a friend, he cheered my morning with some more ' "Yo Mama..." Jokes':
' Ur mother is so fat that when she fell in love she broke it. '
' Ur momma is so fat that when she went to the beach, the Greenpeace roll her back to the sea. ' etc...
Thanks, my draggy bitchy friend plus the entertainment from you guys today...

Anyway, we just finished our examination today. I don't really give a damn this time, I should not be surprised if I get two F's..

In the end of this day, I think I regretted not making stupid wishes on those meteor rain...

Human nature...

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Anti-Trtl!